EP 125: Ahna’s School of Life: 5 Lessons I Learned In 2023

2023 has been a year of embracing vulnerability, from the stage to the deeper realms of personal relationships. I've discovered the transformative power of therapy within my marriage, and how our journey towards adoption has opened our hearts in ways we never imagined. We'll explore these intimate stories and the profound lessons they carry, which have shaped our lives and our show's content. I've found that saying "yes to less" has not just decluttered my space, but also my mind, paving the way for a lifestyle that celebrates presence over possessions.

As the sun rises on a new day and a new year, I've come to cherish the tranquil mornings that have redefined my well-being. I invite you into the serene practice of stillness and sensory breathing that has revolutionized my start to the day and birthed the Early Morning Habit program. Designed to help you find peace in the quiet moments before dawn, this program is a testament to the power of mindfulness, gratitude, and the simplicity of life. As we bid a grateful farewell to 2023 and look towards the horizon of 2024, let's take with us the courage to grow, the joy of storytelling, and the unwavering belief that our best days are still ahead. Here's to another year of learning, loving, and living fully.

Show note links:
https://ahnafulmer.com/early-morning-habit-pioneer-group/

JUMP RIGHT TO IT:

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0:00 2023 Lessons

2:41 Red lipstick is not for the faint of heart.

10:26 Therapy should be a standard for prevention, not rehabilitation.

18:53 Duct tape is your budget’s best friend.

27:19 To give is joy

38:17 Practicing Gratitude and Stillness

Wild Interest

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Welcome back to season three of the Imperfectly Empowered podcast. It is such an honor to be here with you guys. Wow, what a year 2023 was. I'm very excited for 2024 and all that it has in store, but 2023 was a year. One of the most notable things that happened for the podcast in 2023 is that we hit the top 2% of health and fitness podcasts worldwide. You guys, that is incredible, and the only way that that happened is because of you. It's because of the listeners, it is because of the fact that you guys leave podcast reviews on Apple. That is a big deal in the podcasting world and, most importantly, you listen to the show. You download the episodes. I cannot thank you enough. We are so excited for season three. We have quite the lineup. 2023 is excited, as we are for 2024.

Speaker 1: 1:18

2023, the best way I can describe it is it was the third leg of a relay race For anyone that ran track. I ran track for eight years and the 400 and the 800 were my races the 400 primarily, and, if anyone knows, the 400 is one lap around the track. It is one of the most difficult races in track and the worst stretch of the race is the third leg. It's the third 100 mark or the 300. It tends to be the second curve of the track. It's where you often end up hitting that wall and you can't quite see the end or the finish line yet. But you know it's coming and yet you have such a long way to go. You have to just get around that curve, or in a relay. The third leg is also the one that is similar. It's like you're not at the end yet, you can't really sprint to the finish, but it's an essential leg. You have to get through it in order to get to the end. That was 2023 for us. That was 2023. It was essential, it was hard, also full of many blessings, and today I'm sharing with you. Welcome to Anna's School of Life. I thought that title was funny. Five lessons I learned in 2023. Lesson number one red lipstick is not for the faint of heart.

Speaker 1: 2:48

Those of you who may not know, november of 2022, over a year ago when Kavad Performing Arts, one of the local performing arts academies and theaters here in Lancaster, pennsylvania, that my daughter has gotten heavily involved with she has fallen in love with the performing arts musical theater specifically, they announced their 2023 show season. Their fall show fall winter show was Sound of Music. Since November of 2022, graceland has been asking me to try out for the Sound of Music. She said, mom, you would make such a great baroness. I laughed. Well then, come spring of 2023, she was in the Lion King for Kavad Performing Arts. Well, she took this opportunity to tell people that I was trying out for Sound of Music. My mom's going to try out for Sound of Music. Oh, she'd be a great baroness. People would come up to me and be like, hey, here you're trying out for Sound of Music. Well, maybe, maybe Even a month before auditions, I was not sure if I would do it.

Speaker 1: 3:56

Why? Because, number one, I've never done a show before Like a show as in a musical or a play. I've never acted. I've certainly done a lot of speaking, but this is not the same as acting people. Let's make that really clear. And although I've done a ton of music many, many concerts I have never actually done a musical where you're bringing all the pillars together acting, singing and dancing. So, reason number one, I had never done it before. I'm 37 years old. I can do a musical for the band. I can do a musical for the first time. Number two, possibly the more important one time. Great Busy Mom, I'm launching a program.

Speaker 1: 4:39

2023 was the year for Early Morning Habit. I mean tons and tons of work went into launching this brand new program. More to come on that Early Morning Habit and so time, I'm like Grace, I've never done it. And when? When am I going to fit it in for my schedule? Well, she kept pushing, encouraging puppy-dog eyes like Mom, I'll understand if you can't do it, but please will you try out? I mean, seriously, you guys like. So auditions come around and I was like you know what? I'm just going to go for it. I mean, let's just go for it, let's have fun. I would absolutely love to do one. I love musical theater. I've just never done it. So I auditioned One month ago. I stood on the stage with my daughter a year later and stood on the stage with her as a lead role, as the Baroness, and she played Brigitte, one of the Von Trapp children. It was an unbelievable experience. More to come on that. We're going to do a whole episode or a whole episode on that show, recapping behind the scenes some really fun things that I learned just from being in a musical, things I would never do again thanks to the sound of music, things I would absolutely do again thanks to the sound of music and all the in-between we're going to show behind the scenes. It'll be a really fun episode. That's going to be one you want to watch on YouTube. There'll be a lot of video footage and Gracie's going to join me.

Speaker 1: 6:10

But part of my character. They wanted her in red lipstick. Red was sort of her color. They wanted her to be bold, elegant, feel elegant, fierce, and so red lipstick was part of her persona. Y'all. Red lipstick is no laughing matter.

Speaker 1: 6:31

I have told you before our makeup is not my forte. I have amazing friends in the fashion industry who have helped me with the look that I have, but red lipstick was so hard to apply I laughed out loud so many times. Just the liner alone was an adventure. It requires precision, patience, a steady hand. One wrong move and your whole look is thrown off. And it's no joke. To take off You've got to get the makeup remover and then you're taking off your foundation and then you have to redo it. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing, but this lipstick really kind of personified this whole experience in that it was a risk. Red lipstick is a bold choice. It's also a risky one, but with it came great reward.

Speaker 1: 7:18

I had such an unbelievable experience and I'll go into it later. But one of the things that I took away is that it is the first thing that I have done in years where there was no end goal. If I got a role awesome, I got a role and I get to make memories with my daughter. I fully anticipated if I got anything, it'd be an ensemble role, not a lead role. Not a lead role with two big musical numbers, that's for sure, and an incredibly nuanced character. You guys, the Baroness in the musical is arguably the most nuanced character in the show. No pressure, no pressure. I hear that the director had to initially be persuaded. I don't think she's regretted it, but I've never actually come out and asked her. But I had no end goal, it was just fun. It was just fun and I realized how much I had missed just doing something strictly for fun, no business motivation. I have no desire or goal to have a career in musical theater. It was just to spend time and make memories doing something that I also happened to love with my daughter. It was risky. I would do it all over again and in fact, I am actually auditioning for another show with her, because, why not? You can always say no, right, why not? And the challenge is this I had my first musical experience at the age of 37. Adored every second of it. I loved it and the challenge that I have for us in 2024.

Speaker 1: 8:57

What is one risk that you need to take that might reap great reward For some of you, like myself? The Enneagram 3s, the Enneagram 8s, the high achievers who love our to-do lists and like to get stuff done and have a hard time making room for just fun. It doesn't have to be productive, it is just simply for fun. Maybe that risk is setting aside your to-do list, trusting that it is going to get done and that memories with those you love are more important, and just simply having fun. Maybe that's the risk you need to take in 2024. What is it? What is it? What is that one area that you can set aside your to-do list and have fun? Maybe you're that Enneagram 7. Like you, live for fun. You live for adventure. You live on the fly. It's actually harder for you to take a risk that is outside of your comfort zone. Maybe fear is holding you back, maybe the discipline of something is holding you back and that's the risk that you need to take in 2024. What is it? What is the risk that you need to take? Red lipstick is not for the faint of heart. What is the red lipstick moment you need to capitalize on in 2024? Lesson number two in the School of Life with Anna that I learned in 2023.

Speaker 1: 10:34

Therapy should be a standard for prevention, not rehabilitation. This summer, my husband and I looked at each other and we said what do we do to feel less like co-workers and more like lovers, not just physically, you guys, not just from a sexual standpoint I should clarify this. I mean intimacy where we're married, where there's like a uniqueness in the depth of our connection that we don't experience with other people. What do we need to do to get out of this feeling of being co-workers as opposed to lovers in our marriage? And this got us on this whole path of, you know, finding therapy and talking to people and discovering, like, what are the next steps that we need to take? And something that became very, very apparent to me neither of us had ever been in therapy before was this crazy stigma that exists around emotional health, even less so anymore around. Mental health like that has been a more socially acceptable, and yet emotional health is something that still holds the stigma to it. Because when we talk therapy, really what Zach and I had to address is the reality that we are emotionally unhealthy together.

Speaker 1: 12:06

A lot of it had to do with busyness and many of you in a similar situation. For us, 12 years married, three kids, three house renovations, four masters between the two of us, several job changes, career changes later why is it shocking to us? It should not be shocking to us that we are sitting there 12 years later and saying, man, we feel more like co-workers and we don't like it. Why should that surprise us, especially in our society where busy is our self-medication for reality? Let me say that again Busy is our self-medication for reality. It's like a band-aid on a gaping wound. We don't want to acknowledge the painful truth that exists, that we're not thriving, and so we just push it down and we fill our schedules with other things. Busy is our self-medication for reality. But we got to the point where we looked at each other and we said we want more. We also believe that marriage is meant to be more, and so we started this journey of finding therapy.

Speaker 1: 13:26

And here's the really cool thing, you guys, our therapists have all been from our church, unintentionally so, and every single time, like the first woman that recommended she worked for the therapy group that we initially went to, we ended up switching to another therapist. The first therapist did a great job. We just felt like we had kind of met her expertise and now needed to take it a step further. All of these women, by the way, go to our church and each of them had to give the whole disclosure. Like I know, it can get really awkward seeing each other in the hallway and I'm like let me just stop you right there. There is no awkwardness here, because I believe in the power of the struggle, I believe in empowering other people to own the struggle, and so we're not hiding anything. We are open about the fact that we are in marriage counseling. We're not announcing all of our you know discussions to the world. There's been no infidelity, there's no addictions, there's just complacency, when it's just as dangerous.

Speaker 1: 14:43

And so the challenge that I give to all of us is that, especially within the walls of a church, which should be like a spiritual, emotional and mental hospital, therapy should be a standard recommendation and prescription for prevention, not rehabilitation. Just like we don't hesitate to get our physical health assessed and evaluated by the experts, why are we so hesitant to have our emotional health evaluated? Just because it requires a whole other level of vulnerability and, ultimately, humility. What I want to suggest to us all in 2024, especially if you are a Christian, especially if you are a Christian in the church, we need to be without excuse. If we want to live like Jesus, then we need to empower humility in our lives with grace. Just like there is nothing inherently wrong with getting a virus right for our physical health, there should be no shame in an emotional virus right. This is human. The struggle is real. Let's normalize it. No stigmas, no shame, and let's stop making leaders feel as though there is shame in needing therapy, in needing help, whether it be leaders within our church, leaders within our home. By the way, women, this is you. If you are a mom, you are a leader. By not acknowledging that you need help, that you are not thriving, it's simply a form of pride.

Speaker 1: 16:50

St Augustine has this incredible quote he says humility is the foundation of all the other virtues. Hence in the soul. In which this virtue does not exist. There cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance. This is a challenge for those of us who claim to love Jesus Christ and yet don't exhibit humility, that perhaps any other virtue that we are wanting to shine is just merely appearance. We want to reflect humility from our souls and ultimately empower this journey and this community together. In a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming, having a safe space to explore your thoughts and emotions can be incredibly healing.

Speaker 1: 17:47

Zach and I have experienced this. We don't announce all of our issues to the world. It's not like we're doing podcast episodes, sharing the same things that we share. There's a degree of privacy that's absolutely valuable, but what I'm getting at here is humility is the key to preventing issues, especially in marriage A willingness to recognize we need help Just like we wouldn't any other dimension of our life. This goes to show how little we really understand about emotional health. Humility is the key. The church should be more like a hospital and we should all be able to acknowledge that we need help as soon as we walk in the doors. This should go for just community in general. We all need each other. It takes a village. That is the challenge. How are you vulnerably sharing in your own life with other people to empower that, therapy included. Therapy should be a standard for prevention, not just rehabilitation. It takes a village. Number three duct tape is your budget's best friend.

Speaker 1: 19:01

For those of you who are new around here and this is your first season joining us on the Imperfectly Empowered podcast, I mentioned that Zach and I have lived in and renovated three homes over the last decade. We sold our last fixer upper May of wow, may of 2021. Yes, we have been in this current my math is struggling, that's not right 2022. Oh, my goodness, here I need more coffee. The point is this We've been renting a home for the last year and a half with the goal of building. That has been our goal for the last 10 years consolidating debt by selling each fixer upper. We did a whole podcast episode, by the way, on our fixer upper renovation experiences. But in renting this home for the last year and a half, our goal has been to save money, on top of the fact that we are adopting In June.

Speaker 1: 19:58

After five years of waiting, we were finally matched with our precious son. We were told we should be able to travel to bring him home anywhere between 12 and 24 months, right, massive timeframe, which is discouraging, but God knows his timing is best. But the financial reality to traveling to the Pacific Island of Samoa to get our son and the adoption expenses on top of a whole another financial bucket of building and there's obviously wiggle room and all of the above, but we decided we want to be in a stage of saving. It has opened our eyes to a whole new way of living. When I stepped away from my career in emergency medicine, I stepped away from a guaranteed, fairly lucrative paycheck. So not only are we having to budget for these two massive life events, but we are doing it on half of our typical income for 10 years. I stepped away from emergency medicine two years ago. Since then, we have cut our household income in half. Imagine that if you did that right now, god has been so good. But it was a risk and one of those things that we had to do is force ourselves to say yes to less. And you guys, it has been one of the best things that has ever happened to us. Getting our household income in half has been one of the best things that has ever happened to us because we have had to say yes to less.

Speaker 1: 21:42

It started by duct taping our laundry baskets. We have those white plastic laundry baskets, right like we've all seen them, the vertical plastic laundry basket, and the handle on both of our plastic laundry baskets has cracked. Maybe this is just unique to our laundry baskets, I don't know, but both handles have cracked and we've duct taped it. I think I've duct taped these handles maybe a dozen times now, but to me it's representative of this stage of life where we are saying yes to less and the fact is it's still a great laundry basket. It's just the handle is broken, right, but you can still hug it to get down the stairs. I don't absolutely need the handles to be functional, so I've duct taped them multiple times and it's just representative of this concept that you know what. We really didn't need the new laundry basket. It still works Just fine, it just doesn't look as pretty.

Speaker 1: 22:49

This concept has applied to so many areas of our life over the last year and a half. It's just been this very high opening experience where there's freedom in saying yes to less. In a society that often equates success with material wealth, it can be so easy to fall into this trap of not enough, this idea of just well, we need more, and what's been very eyeopening to me is this is not just the case in our material possessions, but relationships, experiences. Let me give you an example of what I mean by this. This past September, gracie had to make a really hard decision because we realized that there was a scheduling change in the sound of music audition process. She had been looking forward to auditioning. She was even more excited because I was auditioning and they had so many people audition for this show that they had to actually push back their callback time. So this means you audition first and then, if they want you to come back for a specific part, they call a handful of people back.

Speaker 1: 24:01

Those callbacks got changed to the same time as a wedding of one of our family members, and Gracie is my FOMO child. Pruelly has a legit issue with missing out on things, and so she had to make this really hard decision Do we try out for sound of music or do we go to this wedding? And she said Mom, I have an idea. We could call into the wedding while we're at callbacks and join it via a video call. And so we had this whole conversation.

Speaker 1: 24:38

I contemplated it, but then it struck me this is the danger that we face is we live in a day and age of unlimited possibilities. Once upon a time, you had to make a choice. It was one or the other right, not both, and the problem is now everything is possible, everything is a both, and thanks to technology and just our wealth, in America especially, and so I said no. This is an opportunity for us to be present fully in one spot and to help her embrace this reality, that one. You don't need to do everything and enough is enough. You pick which one you want to do and will be fully present at that thing, whatever it is, in this case, a wedding or sound of music auditions. She sent her apologies. We sent our apologies to our cousins, said we can't be there and explain the situation, but it was a really good conversation that we had to have.

Speaker 1: 25:46

But you guys, this is true for everything we live in a season of unlimited possibilities, and so the challenge that I have for us in 2024 is to explore the freedom of saying yes to less, simplifying and prioritizing that simplicity, being fully present in the moment, putting your phone down more and not trying to do all the things, saying yes to less, the reverse of it, which is a lot harder to take in, is saying yes to less is equivalent to saying no to more. Yes to less is ultimately saying no to more and being grateful. With this concept of enough In 2024, where are areas of your life, be it material possessions, be it your home, be it family experiences, being relationships? Maybe you need to say no to more relationships and really dive into quality friendships that you have? It's enough. Where in your life do you need to say yes to less and experience the joy and freedom of enough in 2024?

Speaker 1: 27:49

Life lesson number four in the School of Anna from 2023 is this To give is joy. To give is joy. This is interesting because this is coming on the tail end of several life lessons where we cut our income in half. So a lot of people, when they think giving, they think finances. So how did I learn that to give is joy when we cut our income in half and we have less to give Busier than ever in 2023. Have less time to give. Where does this concept come? To give is joy? Let me tell you a quick story.

Speaker 1: 28:34

In the fall of 2023, gracie and I were asked to sing and speak at a fundraising event for Kevob Performing Arts. It's actually a 501C organization, 501c3 organization meant to really serve our community. It's a non-profit, this Performing Arts Academy. So Gracie and I were asked to speak at this event. It was the coolest experience. You guys?

Speaker 1: 29:01

It was a group of approximately 100 entrepreneurs locally here in Lancaster County who are not only incredibly successful entrepreneurs many of them seven figure and hire entrepreneurs anywhere from the ages of 50 to 80 years old but also all Christians passionate about supporting local nonprofits. So what they do is they ride motorcycles and then once a month they meet at somebody's estate and when I say estate, I mean estate, the most beautiful properties just incredible. And the way that these owners are using these properties to minister to people is just it's beautiful. The property that we were at this particular evening, this couple that owns the estate that hosted routinely offer a section of their home, of their very large home, to missionaries on furlough or people who need a place to stay, free of charge. It's just unbelievable. It was a gorgeous estate. And what they do then is they offer, on a rotating basis, a different 501C3 organization to present what they do and then give the opportunity for these entrepreneurs some still practicing, some still retired to donate and support this organization.

Speaker 1: 30:29

Well, this particular evening we were representing Kavad. It was a beautiful night, we had a lot of fun, the food was catered and absolutely delicious, and I was sitting beside a guy named Earl Martin, in his 80s, very successful entrepreneur from Lancaster, pennsylvania, and it was just incredible to be sitting at this table with these experienced entrepreneurs. And, as a young entrepreneur myself, I thought I'm going to pick his brain, as a young Christian entrepreneur especially, and so I asked him. I said asking for a friend, of course. What advice would you give to the entrepreneur who is uncertain of the future, passionate about the vision, knows where she wants to go again asking for a friend but is unsure where the money is going to come from, feels a lack of resources and just simply uncertainty about the future? What would you say to that entrepreneur? And he looked at me and you said you see Connie over there.

Speaker 1: 31:34

We had the same conversation a number of years ago and you guys, if they were sitting here today on the podcast, they would share this story. Connie is the founder and owner of this Kavad performing arts and 20 years ago she started Kavad. And he said we had a similar conversation, she was in a similar position where she felt like Kavad had seen a lot of success, but they were understaffed, under-resourced. She wasn't sure where the money was going to come from to create the expansion in the facilities that they needed. And he said you need to ask people for money, you need donors. And she said I can't do that. I can ask people for money. He said why not? And when she really dug deep, it was fear, you know, fear of reaching out. And if she's being honest and again she would say this to you guys if she was sitting here a degree of pride like I should be able to do this myself. I shouldn't have to ask people for help. And ultimately, where the story comes to is he said why? Because to give is joy. And you guys, whoo, it still gets me when I think about this, not just money, not just finances, but I think about how this concept has applied to so many areas of our life, but specifically our adoption journey, especially in the year of 2023. To give is joy and I think about the way the Lord has blessed us with the gifts given by so many people, especially at our church, but by so many even outside of our church, not just financially, not just financially. To date, we have been blessed. We have raised $45,000 for our adoption. Our total costs are 55 to 60,000. You guys, we have been blessed with $45,000.

Speaker 1: 33:50

I think about that moment In November of 2018, when I was staring at my computer and just thought how am I going to do this? We weren't sure that we were meant to adopt, we didn't feel called to it yet, but I didn't feel peace about having another one biologically. I just remember the overwhelming fear and uncertainty of where the resources are going to come from, where the finance is going to come from. Then 2020 happened and this overwhelming reality of white privilege and how I didn't understand what that meant. And suddenly being faced with the challenges of adopting a child who's not white, a child of color and what does that look like for our home being incredibly humbled and overwhelmed by just simply, I didn't know what I didn't know. And now being faced with the reality and I could either ignore it or I could lean into this very hard truth that exists for men and women of color in our country and the difficult reality that that presents as a white adoptive mom. And so even then, I was faced again with this uncertainty of resources. How do I learn, how do I best serve my son in a way that is glorifying to the Lord and honoring to him? And through the last couple years, we have been so gifted by not just people's finances but the relationships, the relationships of other adoptive families, parents who have empowered their children adopted and biological to be real about their struggle to have open, honest conversation about the ups, the downs, the beauty, the ugly parts of it, the challenging parts of it, and to see my children having conversations with other kids. Now, when it comes to like our younger ones, like my son, these conversations are about 90 seconds long. But to watch these very real conversations that my children are having you guys, that's a gift and it has been generously given by not just these children but by their parents, empowering these conversations.

Speaker 1: 36:13

Lily is in behavioral therapy and how she got to where she is is because of the generous vulnerability and honesty of another mom and family in our church whose daughter, who also happens to be friends with Lily, is in behavioral therapy, who also happens to be adopted. Lily is not adopted, she's our biological child, but the gift that she gave me to be honest with her struggle as a mom, for me to be able to say I'm right there with you, for me to call her in tears one day and be like I'm at my wit's end. I don't know what else to do. Lily has been gifted with this incredibly vibrant but also obstinate spirit, and there's nothing wrong with that. It is a gift and God is going to use it in amazing ways. But as a parent, it's really hard, and so she gifted me the generous blessing of relationship and open conversation. And, how's importantly, she said hey, you know, if Lily ever wants to talk about what behavioral therapy is like, tell her that she's welcome to talk to my daughter about it. You guys, to hear these six year olds talking about therapy and normalizing the struggle and, at a young age, offering them the opportunity to connect and create that habit, is priceless.

Speaker 1: 37:51

To give is joy, and the challenge for 2024 that I offer you is number one. Are you willing to give of yourself? Because it's not just finances, it's your service, it's your time, it's the gift of relationship, and that requires vulnerability. What of yourself do you need to give? Maybe you need to receive it and allow somebody else to experience the joy of gifting you money, their services, their expertise, their experience, their story. If nothing else, you always have your story to give. Nobody can take that away from you and nobody else has it. It is your story, your experiences. I challenge you to give more. To give is joy. What a blessing Life.

Speaker 1: 38:59

Lesson number five there is no fitness routine or diet supplement more revitalizing to your health than the habit of starting your day being not doing, in a world that is constantly buzzing with noise and distraction, starting your day with stillness every morning. Let me rephrase that Starting my day with stillness every morning has, in and of itself, independent of any other health intervention, revitalized more areas of my life than anything that I have ever done and is, in fact, the catalyst for the virtual health and fitness program that I have spent the last two years preparing for and is launching this month. Early morning habit I've mentioned this before in 2018. I started a blog. Hammers and hugs. We've come a long way. You guys Some of you guys have been with me from the beginning. You're incredible. I'm so grateful for you. One of the things that I shared is, at the time, I was an emergency medicine nurse practitioner. I was also the assistant medical director of two stroke programs that I had helped establish from the ground up. We were renovating our second fixer upper.

Speaker 1: 40:30

In the very early stages of walking through the potential for adoption, I had three children ages five, three and one and I decided I need something fun. I started blogging. It was my digital scrapbooking and I truly loved it. The only time that I had to do it was first thing in the morning. I am not a morning person by nature. This was the initial catalyst for setting my alarm back earlier was blogging. I fell in love with, not the productivity of blogging as much as I enjoyed it. What kept me pushing my alarm back earlier and earlier from that typical 7 am wake time? Right, I rolled out a bed just in time to get up with my kids. What kept me pushing back my alarm early and earlier was the quiet. It was the stillness, hearing myself think for the first time in who knows how long. I discovered in this time I valued having no technology. I forced myself to put away my phone. I actually put away my laptop because I found that the stillness revitalized every aspect of my life, especially when I was able to learn how to incorporate emotionally intelligent gratitude practiced through God's word and prayer.

Speaker 1: 42:10

This is a massive pillar of early morning habit, of this program that I've created. We are teaching you how to practice emotionally intelligent gratitude, specifically through God's word and prayer. But here's the deal, you guys even if you're not a Christian, even if you don't have any interest in religious texts, at this time in your life you're not really into praying, maybe you're into meditating. Here's the challenge that I have for you. This is a little freebie. This is an exercise that our community does. The first week of early morning habit, by the way, my pioneer group is capped at 50 women. It is open for enrollment. It is filling quickly. We absolutely will cap it 50 people. Because I am personally leading this group of you through early morning habit, the six week program, and getting your feedback. Because, you guys, it doesn't matter how amazing I think this program is if you don't think it's amazing, guess what it isn't. I am taking 50 women through it. I am getting your feedback, seeing what needs tweaked. Because when it goes, live to the world as an evergreen program on an app, course and community that we engage with in real time, live in the community, on the app the end of March, I want it to be able to impact thousands. I need you to do that. This is the little plug. If you are interested, you can click on the link in the show notes. Join the wait list for the live to the world in March If you don't want to sign up for the pioneer group. If you're interested in the pioneer group, the link is there. You can check it out. I would love to have you.

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Here's the first exercise that you will do in this program. It is reclaiming the art of being still and, you guys, it is an art that we have lost. Just like strengthening muscles through exercise takes practice, it takes practice to be still again because we live in a society of endless noise, literally and figuratively. Here's the challenge for 2024 that I want you to practice, even if it's just once a week. I challenge you to do it every morning, but once a week, something called sensory breathing, quiet time. There's no reading, there's no music, there's no, there's no praying.

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Even initially, what we do through this practice is learning to be present in the here and now, with stillness. No to-do lists, no meal planning, no text messages, no emails, no social media, no news God forbid news, no news. I won't even get started on news. No phones, nothing. You push your alarm back 15 minutes earlier. You guys, that's it. 15 minutes earlier. You are going to spend five minutes in the stillness of the morning hour doing this Five minutes.

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Here is how you practice sensory breathing quiet time to reclaim the art of being still and being present and focusing your mind on the here and now. First, you're going to close your eyes. You're going to inhale through your nose for four counts, then you are going to exhale through pursed lips for as long as you can, while engaging the senses. Believe it or not, you are actually engaging the senses, even through vision, by closing your eyes, because now you're allowing everything else to become more present. So, closing your eyes and the first thing that you're going to think about is what do you smell as you breathe in your nose for four counts? Is it your freshly brewed coffee? Take a sip of your coffee or your tea and focus on all the flavors bursting in your mouth. Is it the lavender lotion you put on the night before? Is it the laundry detergent on your shirt? What do you smell as you breathe in? Name it in your head, focus on it and breathe out.

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Breathe in again, and now you're going to ask yourself what can you feel? What's your face? And what a blessing it is to feel a kiss of a child on your cheek. Maybe it's your legs. What a blessing to have feeling, to be able to move, to feel the warmth of the blanket that surrounds you. Not everyone has that luxury. What a blessing. Wrap your hands around that coffee mug and enjoy the sensation of warmth Again. What a blessing to be able to feel. What can you feel? Maybe it's the sofa that you're sitting on. Is it soft, is it scratchy? And breathe out in your nose, out your mouth.

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Lastly, what can you hear? The hum of a refrigerator. That's what I hear when I do this in this house that I'm in. Currently, the refrigerator that we're renting, the rental house, the refrigerator is super loud. I don't know why, and so this is often something that I hear you breathe in and you think what can I hear? I hear the hum of the refrigerator. I hear the tick of a clock hanging on our wall. Yes, an old fashioned clock. They still exist, we have one. The tick of a clock, the birds chirping, maybe the low rumble of early morning traffic. What do you hear?

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This is sensory breathing, quiet time, a simple way to add gratitude to this is to think the Lord, just be grateful for the senses, be present. Why is this the first thing that we do? Because if you want to hear the voice of the Lord in your life, if you're a Christian, if you want to reclaim this sense of gratitude in your life, you must first learn to be still. If you want to know truth, then you must reclaim the art of being still. Fight the busyness, fight the noise. Be still. This is a very practical, physiologically effective way of not only calming yourself through this breathing, but also learning to be present and grounded in the here and now and grateful for some of the most basic elements of your day to day life that we so easily take for granted.

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2023, what a year. From red lipstick to learning the art of being still, reclaiming it with gratitude, calming the heart, renewing the mind. It's been a year of growth, a lot of lesson learned. I'm grateful. I look forward to all that 2024 has to offer. Listen, friends, as we continue on our individual and collective journeys, may we always remember the power of resilience, the beauty of vulnerability and the joy of lifelong learning, because the best is surely yet to come. Happy new year. Here is to 2024. Thank you for being here. Let's go and remember your story matters and you are loved.