EP 128: How To Choose Flattering Jeans You Love With Styling Pro Jessica Papineau

In today's episode, We discuss how Jessica’s unique approach to fashion is not just about aesthetics but also about empowering women to embody their power across all facets of life. Our conversation wasn't confined to the surface; it was an empowering narrative of transformation, as we exchanged stories about the challenges women face and the community's role in fostering shared strength.

JUMP RIGHT TO IT:

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0:00 Authentic Fashion Styling for Empowered Women

15:03 The Transformation of Women's Lives

27:27 Personal Style and Resonating With Others

33:16 Top Tips for Women's Wardrobe

37:21 How To Choose Flattering Jeans You Love

46:18 Tips for Styling and Fitting Clothes

1:02:52 Exploring Jessica's Fashion Program and App

CONNECT WITH JESSICA:

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Instagram/Tik Tok: @thejessicapapineau

Website: https://csjstyling.com/

*Sign up for the Free Wardrobe Edit Blueprint and receive a free coaching call from Jessica. 

Youtube/Facebook: Customized Styling by Jessica on YouTube and Facebook

Here is the link to Ahna’s go-to jeans https://bit.ly/464QbpI here is the link to Jessica’s https://bit.ly/3Qu3zha 

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Website: http://www.ahnafulmer.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectlyempoweredpodcast
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Imperfectly Empowered podcast. I'm your host, anna Fulmer. Today, it is my honor to introduce you to Jessica Papineau. Jessica is the founder of CSJ, a leading styling company for women. With over 25 years in the fashion industry, jessica is passionate about teaching women how to use fashion to boost their confidence and improve their self-esteem. Here to share her expert advice on dressing for success. Welcome, wardrobe styling expert, jessica Papineau. Hey Hi, how are you doing? Good, how are you?

Speaker 2: 1:03

Crazy, but good.

Speaker 1: 1:06

Yes, you have been busy. You just did like all of your branding, it looks beautiful. Oh, thank you so much. I love it.

Speaker 2: 1:15

Are you also?

Speaker 1: 1:15

teaching location. Oh, thank you, it's probably the lighting.

Speaker 2: 1:23

You should see all the things I have over here too, oh.

Speaker 1: 1:27

I know the lighting is always the question.

Speaker 2: 1:31

So what were you?

Speaker 1: 1:32

saying I'm sorry. I was saying are you still staying in the same location for everything, or are you like, yeah, so you're still in Florida, I'm?

Speaker 2: 1:41

still in Florida, but we're working on an app right now for CSJ. Yes, we're in it right now. We're doing it Awesome. Well, it's basically going to be a three tiered membership program with a digital force, and that's basically. The first tier is basically you're buying the digital course and you'll get access to the community for a month and then decide if you want to stay in, and then there's basically two tiers for you and it's really it's organically grown. Since we talked, you had said some things that really got me thinking. I know we need to hop on here.

Speaker 1: 2:24

No, I mean, I'm all about like live and roll. This is great. Live and roll please, oh my gosh, any more coffee Rolling live. Where's my coffee?

Speaker 2: 2:36

No absolutely.

Speaker 1: 2:37

This is all great. This is all great. You guys will dive into this more, but yeah, please keep going.

Speaker 2: 2:45

It's just organically grown.

Speaker 2: 2:46

I mean, with BBG members.

Speaker 2: 2:49

There are so many women in BBG that are like our people you know what I mean yeah that are so aligned in the thinking and the service aspect of what we do, and there's so many connections between I mean, for me, styling is the vehicle and that's what I'm really like. It's a gift. I didn't just give that to people, but beyond that, it's really about helping women to step into their power and be who they were really designed to be, and oftentimes we hold ourselves back. We don't feel worthy of even giving ourselves permission to really go there and think about what we desire, and so my goal with the membership program in the community is monthly bringing in an expert guest, and it does not have to be fashion and beauty, because this is like I'm coming from the outside in, so it's either outside in, inside out. I mean the women that I'm serving. Really I'm taking a holistic approach because I've curated like a community of great women that are experts in different areas that I want to give to my community of women that I serve.

Speaker 1: 4:16

So I mean women, empowering women, that's so Jessica and I were at a lunch at a conference and there are like some very high profile women sitting at this table I'll tell you what and we're all like networking in our different areas of expertise, and it's something that we really started diving into is how we really hone in on different elements of literally what Jessica's talking about helping women just embrace their worth and then reflect it. And so, for those of you listening and watching, we're going to see more fashion on the podcast than we ever have before, because it's also a pillar of my early morning habit program and this idea of how do we learn to adore the skin we're in and radiate confidence from the inside out. And I love what, jessica, you just said, that you're focusing on the outside in, because that is where your expertise lies, but then for me, it's really honing in on the inside and the reality that the essence of who we are is our soul. We've been defined with infinite worth and we were created in the image of God, and that is where our value is, and nothing we say or do can add to or detract from that worth. However, that is the essence of who we are. But while we're on this side of eternity, how do we physically, on the outside, then radiate that confidence and that self-worth that we feel, so that we can truly reflect that confidence from the inside out? And y'all, this is not my expertise.

Speaker 1: 5:44

As Jessica said, listen, we'll talk all day long about the inside, but when it comes to the outside, I need all the help. I can make up clothing, so not my forte. Give me a power tool and we're great. Give me a makeup brush and we're in. So this is why we have people like Jessica here. I love how we just like we dove right into it. It's great. One of the things that you do is something that you call authentic fashion styling. I want to help define what authentic fashion styling is and how you have seen this impact. Women that you've worked with Like a very practical. Here's authentic fashion styling and here's how I have seen real life women change the bias.

Speaker 2: 6:36

So, anna, I'm really helping the high performing woman elevate her fashion and really, like you said, transform and transform in all areas career relationships and just life in general. And it doesn't just have to be a career woman. This can be a mom, someone that stays home with her kids but it's the woman that really desires to be the best version of herself and she may really feel like she's giving it her all. And she's that woman that she wants everyone in her life, in her immediate circle, her family, to really get the best of her, and sometimes, in doing that, she's giving so much that she doesn't have any power for herself.

Speaker 2: 7:34

And so one thing that I've really learned and this is because I have gone through this in my life that once I really took the time and gave myself permission to really go there to discover what I really desired and what I really wanted, in an almost like an unapologetic way and as uncomfortable as it felt to go there, because I kind of felt like guilty or like unworthy.

Speaker 2: 8:08

Once I did that and I leaned into it and then truly became the woman that I know I was designed to be. I showed up in my power. I didn't realize and I've talked to other women that I've worked with. But I didn't realize that my best, before I lived into my purpose, my best was 80% and that was me giving it all away, giving everything. But once I started to really live out my purpose and what I desired and step into my power, it allowed me to hold the space with other women to really help them to then step into their power and go out into the world and serve within that purpose that they had and share their gifts with the world so that others could benefit from it.

Speaker 1: 9:06

And tell us a little bit, because you have your own story, as we all do, and rewind a little bit, because you said something beautifully. You said I've been there and I've done the work and share with us how you have done that work and why you felt like you were held back. What in your life made you realize like, oh yep, I have been living with a much lower sense of confidence than I realize I should be. Just tell us a little bit about that, because I think there's so many women that share similar elements to your story.

Speaker 2: 9:47

So I'm also going to touch on the authentic piece of it and the reason why CSJ authentic fashion styling. When I grew up on it, I did not have all the things. I grew up with a family where we lived off the land really no electricity, no running water, no television. We had an outhouse, we had a hand pump, we had kerosene lanterns and we had a garden. Back then my family was vegetarian, so in the summer we grew all our fruits and vegetables and then in the fall everything was canned and we used that food and so my family really was all about. What the important things in life are are basically like survival in a way.

Speaker 2: 10:41

And so I was born with this gift and love of beauty and fashion. So in my closet I did not have, of course I did not have designer clothes, let alone clothes that were purchased, that were new, they were hand-me-downs, they were from Salvation Army and, as young as three and four years old, I remember going in my closet every single day and at this time I was an only child and I would put on the clothes the Salvation Army clothes, but I would make them into really cool things and fun outfits and I would look in my full-length mirror and I would spend hours trying on these outfits, looking in the mirror and imagining. Because I had no TV, I had to have an imagination. Imagine myself being at parties and being around other people and having fun and feeling beautiful and feeling confident.

Speaker 2: 11:44

My routine in the morning when I was a teenager was get up super early. I think I would get up at like 4.30 to. We had a gas stove and a wood-burning stove, so the gas stove I would boil water like a big pot of water and then on the other stove the water had been boiling all night, so I would gather enough water to fill a little bit of water in the bottom of the cast iron tub and bathe them, wash my hair and do the whole thing shave my legs whatever I had to do, but it was within a small amount of water and it was cold.

Speaker 2: 12:17

That cast iron was cold and I would then take the time. I would take hours to get ready because it made me feel great. When I became a teenager, I was working so I could get myself little things here and there. I could go to the mall and get myself something and incorporate it in with some of these Salvation Army clothes. But I put together these great outfits, I'd go to school and I would feel great about myself and how I looked.

Speaker 2: 12:43

But overall my childhood and my teenage years, I wasn't happy, super happy, because I really didn't want to be there. It wasn't who I was. I don't know how I landed in the family. I did, but I did, and my goal was to work in retail. So at age 16, I moved to Canada. My dad had moved back to Canada he's Canadian and I lived with my grandma and my dad in the top floor of her home and the first thing I and I didn't know my dad very well. Once my parents divorced, my mom married another hippie and she was rolling with the hippies and the very first thing that I did when I got to Winnipeg, manitoba, canada, is.

Speaker 2: 13:31

I put on my nylons and my black skirt suit, I typed out a resume because we had typewriter, and I went to the number one mall in Winnipeg and I walked into all these different retail stores and I was handing out my resume and asking for the job and whatever. And they said of course we'll call you back and let you know if we'll do an interview or whatever. So I get to the furthest store in the mall, second floor, furthest store on the right hand side I will never forget. And I looked at the windows and there was women's suiting and all these pretty things. Like I just I looked at the windows and I was like I want to work here so badly. And I walked in and walked right up to the cash area and there was a woman standing there and she was the manager and I said I I came here from Maine and I love clothes and I really wanna work here all, if you train me, I will show you like I was just selling myself. And she hired me on the spot. She said I've never seen like a 16 year old that has so much enthusiasm. I know you don't have experience, but I'm hiring you. So my very first day I walk in and realized that I had just been hired at a woman's plus size clothing store.

Speaker 2: 15:04

My big roadblock was the women that were coming into the store did not want someone skinny, scrawny and as young as me helping them, so it was excruciating. They'd walk in the door, they'd grab. I would ask how I could help them. They would say no.

Speaker 2: 15:22

Every single time They'd go around the store, gather all these things, frantically, go in the fitting room. I'd watch them like 30 minutes later, come out of the fitting room with a pile of clothes in the fitting room and they wouldn't even make eye contact with me. They would look completely defeated and walk out the door and it was like wash and repeat. I would see this over and over and I'd still ask how can I help? Eventually I would start to see women come out of the fitting room. I'd see them in the clothes, looking in the mirror. I'd kind of peer in and I'd watch them and I could see that they were focusing on the areas of their body they didn't like and in doing that they then want to cover them all up and I started to see how I could dress a body that was plus size, where the woman was trying to hide herself, and I came up with this thing in my head with my imagination. I would then dress them in my head.

Speaker 2: 16:24

And as they would go to leave. Maybe they purchased one thing, two things, but maybe they didn't purchase anything. And they were walking out defeated. And I would say, just as they're walking out the door, I noticed that you didn't find anything. And clearly you drove all the way to this mall, parked in the parking lot, walked all the way to the furthest store in the mall and came in. You must have had a purpose, and it seems as though you didn't find what you were looking for and it didn't work out for you. I can help you. What do you have to lose? Give me a try.

Speaker 2: 17:04

And that, Anna, is where it all began. So I started to dress these women and I was really, really good at it, and I would show them that if they wore something that just skimmed their body, that they weren't necessarily like covering up an area they didn't like, but they were instead highlighting an area that was really great. Just because a woman has a plus size body doesn't mean that she doesn't have a beautiful body. And so I would start to show them how to dress for their body and I would watch, I'd peer in and I'd watch them in the mirror, much like I did when I was three, four years old, looking at myself in the mirror, and I would watch the magic happen. I would see the point at which the switch happened in their brain and they then could go from focusing on what they didn't like to actually seeing their full body and feeling beautiful. I knew the moment and that was what I loved.

Speaker 1: 18:45

So it gives me chills and it makes me tear up all at the same time. Yes, I love it.

Speaker 2: 18:50

Fast forward. I mean, I went to college. I didn't think retail was where I should be. It was not approved in my family. You had to go to college and you had to have a profession. That was something that my family could tell other families. This is what my daughter is doing. And so I went to Fine Arts School and I was a great painter. I was great with color. I did a great job with it. But on the side I continued to work in retail and then finally realized my canvas is women it is not a real canvas where I'm painting and I leaned in and over the years I've transformed so many women's lives.

Speaker 2: 19:40

And when I moved to Sarasota, Florida, with my family, my husband and, at the time, my two-year-old boy again, we had a lot of trials and tribulations. I worked part-time at that time and we in 2011, we lost everything. My husband had a great paying job. He had a sales team under him. I didn't have to work. I was home with two kids at that time and on the side, I would help my friends edit their wardrobes and create outfits, and I did it for myself and I would do that on the side. And then, as a woman and as a mom, I didn't feel as though I maybe had something to contribute on a bigger scale, Because I had been with the kids and my husband lost his job in 2011. And we literally lost everything. I don't know how we even stayed in our home, but we did and we're paying a minimum interest payments, but the kids were on Medicaid and we were on food stamps and it was super humbling and I had to go back to work and I went and worked at a local boutique very high-end boutique and I started the retail thing again and really getting into it and at that time I was paid $10 an hour. And once my husband ended up going back to work and he did not make what he made before, he had to start from scratch again. But we were paying the babysitter $12 an hour and I was making $10 an hour. And some may say why would you do that? That's crazy. Why didn't you just live off the system? And to me it was.

Speaker 2: 21:35

I knew I held on to that, knowing that I could transform women's lives, and I knew that I could get beyond that. So I just leaned into it and I did it and for eight years, on the side, my clients at this clothing boutique would have me come to their homes and I would help them edit their wardrobe and help them to retire the pieces that were just not serving them in their life any longer. And then they would shop with me at the local boutique I was at and I would help them make very intentional purchases of clothing that not only worked back with the clothes in their wardrobes that were great, but also that aligned with the woman that they were intended to be, the woman that they desired to be. And I did this over and over again for eight years and I saw transformations happening.

Speaker 2: 22:35

I saw these women coming back to the store and telling me about how their relationship was deepening, because they felt great about themselves and they felt beautiful and therefore they were connecting deeper with their husbands. Their careers were better because they felt more confident and they were stepping into their power and others were seeing it and were attracted to it. And I was seeing all kinds of things happen. And I was driving to work one day and realized that I was unhappy, that my happiness was seeing these women transform and seeing them feel beautiful, but I didn't feel that I was fully doing my life's work. I felt like I was doing it within the confines of a store and if someone else is trying, yeah of retail, and so I was.

Speaker 2: 23:32

I don't know if I'm going on too far here. I didn't intend on talking.

Speaker 1: 23:35

It's not me.

Speaker 2: 23:36

Right. But I'm driving to work one day and I'm listening to Tony Robbins and he says if you do not, if you're scared to step into what you know you were put here on this earth to do, and your gift, if you're scared and you make the decision knowing full well that you have that gift, it is extremely selfish, because the gift is bigger than who we are right. The gift comes from somewhere else. I truly believe that, whether you believe God or universe or whatever it is, it's bigger than us and we're like the conduit. I really, truly believe that, because when I'm doing my craft and doing what I do, I'm not even, it just happens. It's like this magical thing that comes out of me and so he's seeing this. And that was my moment, that was my light bulb moment, where I said to myself get over yourself.

Speaker 1: 24:41

This is not about you.

Speaker 2: 24:43

If you wanna make an impact in this world, a deep impact on a larger scale, get over yourself and do the thing. Leads me to now. Once I made this step, and I won't get into all the little details tons of struggle, yes, but once I stepped into it, the women that flooded into my life. It was just incredible from day one of starting this business and, mind you, I've been doing it for eight years on the side, so I definitely had a following of women.

Speaker 1: 25:19

Right, it was a little easier to right.

Speaker 2: 25:21

Right, it was easier in that regard, but I definitely I didn't realize there was a whole other world out there of women that needed me. The frameworks that I use are the first thing, before we even get into the clothing, is holding the space with her and giving her the permission to really think about what she truly wants, and spending that time. Because I always ask the question and we always start by Zoom, because I give a free styling call so that we can really talk about their needs and what they want and their goals, all of it. And when I ask the question where do you see yourself in two years? Or what do you really want? I know you said you do this as a profession. You're a sales manager, an investment company, whatever it is but what do you really want?

Speaker 2: 26:19

It's so interesting because initially they'll tell me one thing and the answer comes really quick and it seems disconnected. But when I ask them, what else are you not telling me? There's more. Tell me what it is. It's something either completely different than what they just told me or it's so much deeper and it always has to do with making an impact at a larger scale.

Speaker 2: 26:49

From there, I ask them to tell me what it looks like to be that woman, being in that lifestyle. What does it look like? What do they feel like? Where are they living? What is a day in the life of the woman that they feel they are designed to be? What is she doing on a day to day?

Speaker 2: 27:13

Give me a moment in time of where she is and tell me about her and I, literally, I close my eyes and I imagine her there and I see what she looks like and I see what she's wearing, and that's how it all begins. And then I teach the process of how do you then go into your wardrobe and retire the pieces that are not serving you anymore, because oftentimes we get very stuck in our past and of who we used to be and hanging on to the body we used to have and not really pivoting, saying that's what once was and what led me to where I am now, and let's pivot and look forward. And look forward in a way that's not like, oh my gosh, there's all these unknowns and I don't know what I want and I don't know what I want, but thinking about where you want to be and then allowing me to come in and help you step into that woman by how you are showing up physically.

Speaker 1: 28:27

Yeah, well, and it's beautiful that you have the.

Speaker 1: 28:30

You know you have a story that also lends itself to a greater understanding, in a sense of that feeling of you know it is a more extreme beginning. I mean, most of us started with electricity and running water and weren't living on survival, at least here in America, most of us. But the beautiful part about your story is you're able to truly bring, like you mentioned, the sense of authenticity where you, at a young age, were forced to literally and figuratively look in the mirror and have to assess like, okay, like who am I? How am I going to show up? And then seeing how, despite the differences maybe between your upbringing, your body, et cetera, how you're resonating with other women and I think that's the beautiful thing to hear and to take away is the idea that, whether you grew up or you grew up extremely wealthy, women, in both scenarios, can struggle with not being seen. Whether you have a plus size body, whether you have a Victoria's Secret body, both women can feel unattractive and unworthy and not beautiful. So I think that's the beautiful part of your story is it's really uncovering those deeper emotions, because we're human and also as women, showing up for each other and seeing each other without making assumptions that they feel or think a certain way simply because of what you see.

Speaker 1: 30:06

Okay, jessica, this or that I really should start calling it. Would you rather people resonate with that more? But you get two choices, no stress, whichever one comes to mind. First, flats or heels.

Speaker 2: 30:19

Can we go somewhere in between?

Speaker 1: 30:22

We stumped her on the first one.

Speaker 2: 30:26

For me personally, flats.

Speaker 1: 30:29

Yeah, that's true. I saw you at the conference. You're like the in between, like the chunky heel in between.

Speaker 2: 30:36

I'm the in between.

Speaker 1: 30:40

What is worse, laundry or dishes, dishes. It's a quick pivot. You would rather do the laundry than do the dishes? Yes, yeah, I guess that's on brand. She'd rather work with clothes than dishes. Would you rather own a personal yacht or a private jet? Private jet, I get where you go. Well then, yes, the ex-native, the yacht's not a great idea, although she does live in Florida. So you're taking your jet. Where are you flying? To? First place you're going and you're in the world Italy. I'd love to go to Italy too. Okay, I'll join you Sounds wonderful.

Speaker 1: 31:29

I'll take a yacht from Pennsylvania down to Florida. Okay, would you rather coffee or tea Coffee? Do you put anything in your coffee?

Speaker 2: 31:45

Yes, Cream and sugar Double, double Cream and sugar.

Speaker 1: 31:49

She'll take all of the above. Yes, all of the above. This is also a slightly controversial question. At a movie, do you snack on candy or popcorn?

Speaker 2: 32:01

Both I do mix things together Some like M&Ms in my popcorn bowl and lots of butter. I want all of it. I grew up with. I always wanted. I always didn't have it. I wasn't allowed Everything. Like I said, it was like very poverty mindset a little bit.

Speaker 1: 32:29

So it's like for you, I want both. I don't want one of the other, I want both. Yes, I get that Totally.

Speaker 2: 32:37

To me, it's never either or. So even in when I'm working with a client and you know, in sales it's like you know well, do you want this one or do you want this one? You have both of them, because this one complements this one, so let's do both.

Speaker 1: 32:55

Yeah, well, that is a beautiful segue into Diving a little bit more into your expertise. So, really, really practically, let's hone in on some of your top tips for women, because there's so much in fashion is such a massive umbrella and we could literally go so many directions, but let's, let's just kind of whittle it down to a couple practical takeaways that women could start implementing today. And I think the first question that I would ask is and I think I might, I think you've already touched on this, so we don't have to dive into this too much but what is the number one mistake women are making when it comes to their wardrobe? I could be wrong.

Speaker 2: 33:37

I think I don't think we've completely touched on this. Oh, okay, you know I have working in retail for so many years. I got to see how women shop, right, and you know it, the biggest mistake that I see women have seen women make is is going in a store and just buying what they're attracted to, like all the pretty shiny things, like you know, and women, you know, women and men buy on emotion, right. So you're having like a crappy day or whatever and you're, I'm going to go shopping and I'm going to walk in this store and I saw I see this beautiful blouse and it has, you know, like this wonderful pattern and I love it and I just want it and buy the thing.

Speaker 2: 34:27

Right, and you buy a thing, you go and you hang it in your closet and then that feeling comes up again and you know, the feeling of making a purchase, the good feeling that comes from it, last 20 minutes, it's fleeting. So you know, once that feeling is gone, it's gone and then, over time, what happens is you have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear and then you have a significant other that says let's go for date night and you go in your closet and you have all this stuff but you can't put an outfit together. And so you try on all these things, you come in and out of the bedroom and you say to your husband, just, I don't know if I like this, oh, this is terrible. And you turn back and you go in the closet and then there's a pile of clothes in there and he's frustrated and you don't feel beautiful. And then you just put on something that makes you feel good enough and you go out and your night isn't very good, like this is.

Speaker 2: 35:28

These are the stories that I hear all the time. So what I teach women to do instead is be very intentional about their purchases. So, as I mentioned before, anna, we talked about, you know, aligning your wardrobe with not only your lifestyle but the life that you desire, right, but in doing that, choosing pieces like reset. You know, I always tell women these are things that you can do in your wardrobe right now, and I know that you know in the, in your notes, we're going to have my free wardrobe edit blueprint, which, women, you know, you can go in and download that. Get it sent to your inbox and it will kind of I'm going to give you the overview now, but it will give you some more tactical things, that actionable steps you can take today to you know, set your wardrobe up for success.

Speaker 1: 36:23

But it's a great download and we'll make sure that link is in the show notes so you guys can easily access that. It's free, so what she's outlining here is available to you for free. Yes.

Speaker 2: 36:33

And so, basically, what is important to do is to create the right foundation. It's like with anything right If you don't have a strong foundation, it doesn't matter how you build over top of that, it's going to collapse. So the foundational pieces are everything, and when you're building the foundation, you have to feel worthy of building that foundation. So oftentimes I see women going and you know the foundational pieces being like the perfect parent denim, the great little black dress, the you know, the perfect black heel, like all these. You know just very basic things. Right, and not investing in those pieces is the biggest downfall that I see, because they don't last. The fat, the fit in the fabric may not be right, especially after you know having children and our bodies change. We need the right fabrics and the right cut so that it lies on the body in a way that is flattering right and in a way where we want to highlight the areas of our body that we like.

Speaker 1: 37:44

Let me ask you really quick right there, because I know a bunch of women just asked this question in their head what are the fabrics that, generally speaking especially if you are carrying a little bit of extra weight post babies? What fabrics should women be wearing to help fit and flatter their back? Because I think, shirts are the big one. When I'm thinking like there's a lot more variety in shirt material, I would guess then the most important thing.

Speaker 2: 38:12

Actually, you think it would be tops and it's not. The most important thing is the pants, is the, you know, jeans.

Speaker 1: 38:19

It's how the denim isn't denim. I'm like it's denim.

Speaker 2: 38:22

Yeah, denim is. Yeah, denim is denim, but it's how it's, the fabrics of the denim and how it's cut. So, and the reason why the denim is so important is because with denim, it's all about, obviously, how it fits on the legs, but, like, how it fits the midsection and where the rise falls. So a higher rise is always going to be, you know the best way to go. But in getting a high rise, you want to make sure that the fabric is such that it's doing its job of lifting, smoothing and also feeling comfortable.

Speaker 2: 39:02

So with denim, I always say, like, do a designer denim If you, if you can't, necessarily your budget doesn't lend itself to I can't. Do you know, designer denim that's fine, but you can't buy two pair of jeans. That's all you need by. Two pair of jeans that are designer and don't buy, because most women, even if they don't have a lot of money, I'll walk in their closet and they have 20 pair of jeans, yeah, and like, none of them fit right, right. So it's all about, like, the 2% Lycra in denim is really important, and then you know 2% Lycra, the cotton or Alastin is also a really big fabric, and then you know that's the fabric content. But then it's also how it's cut Right and so you want 2%.

Speaker 1: 39:56

Lycra is what you're saying. So when you look, at denim approximately 2% Lycra and that's the most part.

Speaker 2: 40:02

I mean there's some, you know, more rigid denim out there that is like a 1% or 0.5. And that's fine and we can work within that. But generally speaking, the 2% is going to be your best friend because it's going to smooth and lift and when you have that higher rise it's going to do that in the areas that we may feel we want to hide, especially, you know, like having, after having children and even if we get back down to size again, that you know things are positioned differently and skin is looser and that sort of thing. And if you have the right denim, that is going to smooth things it's. And if it's high, it's going to hit at the smallest part of the waist so that when you do put that top on, you're going to be able to tuck it and highlight the best areas of your waist so that you can give Thank you, it should be your belly button, right?

Speaker 1: 41:02

Is that generally speaking? Because here's the other thing I think a lot of women struggle with Like, let's say, you're short and so you're buying high rise. I think sometimes too, even with high rise, it's tricky because you still want to make sure it's hitting the right part of your waist because, depending off your short, the high rise could even go higher than it should. Or if you're tall, it could go lower. So am I understanding that correctly? Right at belly button level, is that the smallest or slightly above? Where is it?

Speaker 2: 41:34

Slightly above is the smallest, but generally speaking, that's the area. Now it can go a touch lower than that and it can go a little higher than that, and that's fine too, but just as a guideline. Yeah, right around the belly button would be where you want to make sense to me.

Speaker 1: 41:53

It's like the low cut gene. Look when I was a teenager. Oh my gosh, talk about not feeling good about yourself, like unless you were rail thin, which I mean I'm lean, but I was never that thin that I looked good in low cut. And I'm boxy, is my shape so like? It was never flattering.

Speaker 1: 42:12

And so this is like thank goodness for this revolution where high rise is now popular, because it's like just not flattering really on anyone. So I mean, right, there is some amazing tips. 2% Lycra in your gene. You want to make sure that you are getting genes that where they are hitting is the smallest part of your waist. What other gene tips? Because this is such a massive one for me.

Speaker 2: 42:39

As far as other tips on denim, I don't like to put people in a box and say, because you are shorter, you can only wear this style denim. Or because you're taller, it's not going to look good if you wear a cropped gene. You know that sort of thing. I don't think we need to be put in a box in that way, as long as the fit is right and the fabric is great and it's lying on the body nicely and you can look in the mirror and go. I like this. Don't go by what you're seeing on social media or even what some of the influencers may be saying or not, to discredit them. But I think oftentimes we get too stuck in the rules of things and I know I'm talking, generally speaking, a little bit about what genes to wear. But the reason why I'm saying that is so that women feel comfortable to highlight their bodies and they don't hide them.

Speaker 1: 43:40

You did say something that I think was important to note, because this is true, I would say, generally speaking, just in aesthetic appeal, is the idea of skimming your body, is finding clothes that skim. I do think this is a tip that you alluded to. But with pants, you know, if you have some of the midsection, you know extra fatter body weight and you have that like muffin top, to your point. The high waist is also helping to smooth that over. If you're buying a nicer denim, I think that is one area where, like you know, don't make it harder to like what you see. Right, it's like do the skimming.

Speaker 1: 44:20

And then I think one of the other things that I've had to learn, too, is some genes are just too tight. It's like when stuff is too tight, you could be really, really lean, but it is still highlighting every unnecessarily. So I guess where I'm going with that and you kind of said this is also be looking to skim. Sometimes we're just wearing, yeah, hints that are just too tight, maybe at other places, maybe it's at your thighs or it's at your calves. Even so, listen to me like I actually know what I'm talking about, but you kind of you kind of alluded to that, but that was something that's been helpful for me over the years is is it skimming as opposed to like?

Speaker 2: 44:59

Okay, so you mentioned two things on a one, the fit of genes, and I'm going to talk a little bit about how to make that assessment, because it's really a really important assessment and most women fail there, but you. But I'll go to what you said about skimming first. There's a lot of people think in terms of black and white, right, like it's fitted, or it's loose, and I mean, as you can tell by asking me the questions about this or that I'm not very good with black and white. All of the above, everything, yes, and. And so what I mean by skimming is that it's neither form fitting nor big. It's basically just. I mean, it is what it is, right, it's just kind of skimming, it's just lightly going over your body.

Speaker 2: 45:50

Now when you have, like today I'm wearing a blouse, so when you're wearing a silk blouse. So silk blouse is not meant to be, it's not meant to be oversized necessarily, because it's a, it's a more tailored style, but it's also not meant to be super tight, but we want to make sure that it's on the body in such a way that it's highlighting the areas. So the reason for the high rise in the genes is so that with a blouse, for example you can do. You know, the famous front tuck, and the front tuck when you have like a silky fabric, it allows there to basically be an arrow to the smallest part of the waist. So if you're just simply talking in a tiny bit in the front and letting the sides kind of go down a little bit, it does this really pretty like skimming thing where it's hard. Like I know people are listening so it can be difficult to describe, but I want all of you to video.

Speaker 1: 46:53

Yes, while you are do you have it tucked like that right now?

Speaker 2: 46:56

I don't I have it fully tucked, but I'll show you what I mean.

Speaker 1: 46:59

Yeah, go for it. Yeah, you guys can watch the video to see it. Look how cute she is, good grief.

Speaker 2: 47:05

So front. Sorry, I just totally revealed my stomach.

Speaker 1: 47:10

It looked fabulous. It is a beautiful stomach.

Speaker 2: 47:15

I love it.

Speaker 1: 47:16

This is what we do on the Imperfectly Empowered podcast we strip down. I'm just kidding, but look at it right now.

Speaker 2: 47:24

You guys just take a look, it's already so much boxier. It's boxy. You can't see that I have any shape, so if I just simply take the very front part here, oh, before I do that, I want to mention with it being boxy right now, this is how women that have like, maybe had a baby or had a baby, or they simply don't like the area of their midsection they just feel like their tummy is hanging over their pants, or they just don't feel good about it.

Speaker 2: 47:55

This is how I see women wearing their blouses right now. So, as you can see, on it it's creating this boxy look and it's like what is she hiding under there? I can't tell. But if you take just the very front part of the blouse and tuck it behind your either belt buckle or the button on your jeans, and then not fully tuck it all the way around, but allow it to just be tucked in that one spot, and then it goes down at the sides, right and anyone listening if you do download the wardrobe edit blueprint, I actually have a demonstration, a picture of what this looks like on there, so you can see it. But as you can see the way that it drapes here at the sides and skims here, do you see how it creates this arrow? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1: 48:50

Mm-hmm, like a triangle.

Speaker 2: 48:51

Yeah, yeah, basically Mm-hmm, yeah, I love it, and then fit on jeans. Let's touch on that, because every woman wants to know this.

Speaker 1: 49:01

Yes.

Speaker 2: 49:02

When you put on a pair of jeans for the very first time, when you're trying to make that purchase, make sure you may think, for example, you're a size 27. Let's just say, for you know, to talk about a scenario, so say you believe you're a 27. Your other jeans are 27. You've always bought 27.

Speaker 2: 49:23

You go into the store and you pick out a stack of 27s of all the different styles you want to try and you put them on and you're not even really assessing the fit, because you already think you know the fit. You're just deciding if you like the look of them or not. Instead, when you go somewhere, get the size you think you are, get the size down and the size above when you go into the fitting room. I think it's really important to do that because all jeans fit differently. It could be the same brand, but they may, from style to style, vary. Yes, and then the next thing is when you put the jeans on and you go to button them and zip them, you literally should have to take a deep breath in in order to get them buttoned and zipped.

Speaker 1: 50:13

And then we should have to take a deep breath in Okay, to get them button in zipped, okay, yep.

Speaker 2: 50:20

Yes you shouldn't it shouldn't be easy, it shouldn't be like, oh, you just did it and it's like, yeah, they feel great, they fit, they're fine. Because what happens is, with this 2% Lycra that I'm referring to, over time, after you wear them for about 20, 30 minutes and your body heat has heated up the elastic, that elasticity, it then it forms to your body and it relaxes. It relaxes sometimes about half a size to a full size sometimes, and then you're left with pants that are too big. You think they're fine, they may be slipping off your hips a little, but you put a belt on and it's like okay. The problem is is, if you're getting your jeans too big which is what most people do a size, sometimes two sizes I see the Lycra or the Alasthen in the denim.

Speaker 2: 51:23

It's not doing its job, like the whole goal of it. It's like when you buy leggings like you know, I have varly leggings, but like a lot of people have Lululemon it's like you know they're supposed to fit tight because they're doing their job. It's the same thing with jeans. You wanna make sure that they're doing what you want them to do lifting and smoothing and all the good things. Obviously you don't want them uncomfortably tight. But if you follow what I'm saying, it makes all the difference. The other way to tell is, once you've done button them and zipped them, you wanna look in the mirror, go to the side and you wanna pinch the back of the jeans right in the middle at that middle hoop. Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm literally pinching my jeans.

Speaker 2: 52:12

Yeah, pinch it there and pull it in, and you should not have more than an inch Like half an inch would be ideal and that's when you're buying.

Speaker 1: 52:25

It really is what you're saying because you're trying to avoid. Yeah, and I totally see what, absolutely know what you're talking about because I've been there, done that and then, you're right. It's like I mean I've done it wrong. I should say and done it wrong.

Speaker 2: 52:40

Yes.

Speaker 1: 52:41

Yeah, and then your jeans get stretched out and then they're sort of loose at the waist and even the butt, which then makes them even less form clattering. Yes, in the end, what I completely agree with this concept and this has taken me quite a few years to get over the Salvation Army buys. Funny, you had to grow up with Salvation Army and I chose to buy at Salvation Army for a number of years because I was all about the thrift store purchases. But what I've discovered is that I ended up spending more money with less satisfaction, yes, even maybe maybe I could even argue the same amount of money as I do now. But the difference is now I'm more satisfied because I am buying that piece that I really, really like and feel good with.

Speaker 1: 53:29

And I will give everyone one hack. For those of you that want a budget friendly hack is to find the higher end stores that you trust, the quality of their clothing that you really like, and then I will buy stuff from them on clearance that is not the right size, and then I will get it tailored, because then again, it's the same concept of buying high quality clothing, but then the tailor is literally halering it to my body and I am getting the piece for significantly less, but I'm now literally getting the piece that has quite literally been made for me, so that's another like opportunity.

Speaker 2: 54:07

If you're doing that on it. It depends what the fabric is and what the piece is.

Speaker 1: 54:12

That's fair If financially it's your length?

Speaker 2: 54:15

Yes, because, say, for example, it's a blazer. A blazer is it could end up costing more to actually tailor it. But things like denim, for example, if you do have denim, that's a size off, it is a very it's a pretty inexpensive alteration to get it nipped at the waist, because that's really the area. I think it's around $30 or so $35 to do that.

Speaker 1: 54:47

So that, and it depends- where you are to and who you're going to, but like tapering to. For example, we took all of my husband's pants and got them tapered at the leg because his pants were all like the wide, like that was the style, and we're like, okay, these fit really well everywhere else, like I'd rather just spend and it's really inexpensive. And then a tailor just like tapers. So I do think, and they were, his pants were actually nice quality.

Speaker 2: 55:16

Yeah. So there are hacks too.

Speaker 1: 55:18

There are Laking the clothes you currently have and getting them tailored to your body is potentially worth investing in. But, generally speaking, the quality of our quantity shopping, I just absolutely I feel like in most areas in life now I'm like quality of our quantity. I want less stuff with more satisfaction.

Speaker 2: 55:38

So when you're going into your wardrobe and you're making the assessment of what's working and what isn't, you want to look at basically four things Fit, fabric, fashion, and does it align with your lifestyle or where your life is going? So, fit, obviously, is easy Like does it fit you, yes or no? If it doesn't, it doesn't belong in your wardrobe, right? It really doesn't belong there, even if you're in the process of losing weight and whatever. It's body shaming yourself Like it sets your mind up for not healthy thinking. When you walk in and it doesn't fit, you need to remove it, whether you put it in another closet or you get rid of it or consign it.

Speaker 2: 56:20

Fabric is the fabric still intact? Does it lay on the body correctly? Is the fabric worn out? Does it have pills on it? Has it been overwashed and faded? If it is, remove it, get rid of it. You deserve better than that.

Speaker 2: 56:37

Right Fashion is it in fashion? Well, that can be a tricky thing. You may not be sure. If you know, then, if it's not in fashion, get rid of it, consign it. Or if you have an emotional attachment to it and it's a sweater, make it into a blanket, I don't know. Put it away somewhere in a different closet, it doesn't need to be in your immediate space. And then for fashion-wise, you can I mean, it's so easy, like, if it's a blazer, for example, like Google it what blazers are in fashion right now, okay, and then it will give you actual pictures of things that are in fashion right now, and then you can look and assess. That way. That's kind of an easy way of doing it.

Speaker 2: 57:27

And then, does it align with your lifestyle or where your life is headed? This is where you want to get real with yourself and where you want to really have done the work, prior to even going in your wardrobe, of what do I really want. And if it's bigger than what you even thought you could do, let those self-limiting beliefs go and really envision what is that woman wearing, what is that lifestyle that you desire, and does this article of clothing align with that lifestyle? If it doesn't, then you can let. It's okay to let it go. It's so okay to let it go.

Speaker 2: 58:11

And once you let go of all those pieces that are no longer serving you that's where you prioritize you make a list of what are the foundational pieces that really align with the lifestyle you desire, Make a list of those things, and that is a great place to start and start investing. Save your money. Stop going to target, stop going to even like Walmart and you're just but like that's like a cute looking, fast fashion piece and buying it. It's not serving you. In the long run, you're going to end up with a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear. Instead, save until you have the money to go invest in the designer pair of jeans.

Speaker 2: 59:05

I would love to offer anyone listening All of your listeners, anna to a free styling call where I can give some real guidance on creating a plan of how to do this, because it can be so overwhelming. So many women like they walk in their closet and they put on something that just makes them feel good enough and then they just they walk out and they shut the door and they just they walk into their day not feeling as confident as they could feel, and I want to be able to give them some hope that it's possible, like it really is possible for any woman and every woman. Even when I didn't have the money to spend, I would literally like I found a way by not going to Starbucks. I stopped going to Starbucks, right, just save my money and I would put it, I would put the cash in a Ziploc bag under my sink and I waited. The one time I did, I waited for three months and then went and I had something to go and actually get a couple of great pieces.

Speaker 1: 1:00:17

Yeah, and this styling call she really does do a great job. I, jessica and I met and she did a styling call for me and it is really helpful. She does a really good job giving you a sense of just sort of the kind of pieces that you should be looking for and, like she said, that kind of holistic approach to where you want to be, what are the areas that you want to be highlighting and how to help with that. I'm so excited for the future of your brand and I will just ask this really quick, because people I know are going to be like okay, wait, you skipped over the. Just give me your top brand of jeans, your top brand Investment or no, what is it? Page? And that's what I carry now. Page P-A-I-G-E yes.

Speaker 2: 1:01:02

I used to carry all kinds of different brands and I'm there because they brought in some new designers and they make so many different cuts that all work.

Speaker 1: 1:01:15

So Page is her investment pair. For me, this was an investment at the time and I just kind of fall in love with them. I like Democracy Absolution. They are on Amazon, they're also at Nordstrom and it's I wouldn't even say budget necessarily, because I was spending a lot less on jeans before I was buying these, but there's at least two places for you to start Page, and if you take the free call with Jessica too, she can give you more ideas, and Democracy Absolution are the ones that I like on Amazon.

Speaker 1: 1:01:51

So you want to check out Jessica? She is at. Give me your website really quick. It's. Oh, I see, I'm just kidding. I have it written down. It is csjstylingcom, and that link, of course, will be in the show notes, as well as the link for you to get her free fashion blueprint, as well as the link for you to be put on her wait list for her new program and app. This is just so that you are the first one to be made aware of when it goes live and all of the pricing and the offers and all of that. So put your email on the wait list and then, of course, we will also give you the information to sign up for a free styling call with Jessica, my friend. It is an honor to have you here. It's always a blast. I learn something from you every time.

Speaker 1: 1:02:43

And I just I pray God's blessing over your home, your heart and all you're doing. You're serving many women and serving them very well.

Speaker 2: 1:02:51

Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate you giving me the space to share with your audience.