EP 130: Empowering A Mission-Driven Life With Neurolinguistics Master Andrew Anderson

Have you ever been caught in the storm of life's challenges and felt the desperate need for change? Best-selling author Andrew Anderson shares his powerful story of transformation, utilizing neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) to rise from the ashes of personal defeat. Join us as we traverse Andrew's inspiring journey from the grip of divorce and self-doubt to a life dedicated to helping others discover their paths to courage and compassion.

In our profound discussion on the principles of NLP, we uncover how this approach can reshape our self-perception and behaviors in astonishing ways. Unveil the transformative power of redefining your personal narratives and witness how the potent questioning techniques of NLP can lead to rapid growth and healing. Andrew and I dissect these concepts, equipping you with actionable strategies to break free from detrimental patterns and step firmly onto the path of self-worth and fulfillment.

JUMP RIGHT TO IT:

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00:00:00 From Struggles to Success

00:07:14 Explore Life Fulfillment and NLP

00:17:02 Understanding and Applying Neuro-Linguistic Programming

00:27:01 Exploring Anxiety, Beliefs, and Action

CONNECT WITH ANDREW:

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Facebook: @andrewLanderson85

Instagram: @andrewLanderson85

Website: www.andrewlanderson.com

Strength of the Oak Strength of the Willow: How to Find Courage and Compassion in a Turbulent World

The first 3 people who reach out will receive 3 FREE coaching calls with Andrew. Redeem offer at 30minutes.andrewlanderson.com.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:22

Author of Strength of the Oak, strength of the Willow how to Find Courage and Compassion in a Turbulent World. Andrew Anderson shares how he went from broke, divorced and living in his parents' basement at the age of 30 to transforming his life and hundreds of others with neuro-linguistic programming. Here to share the proven tools that helped him and the hundreds of clients he has coached and served find the courage and compassion to pick up the broken pieces and create a life they love. Welcome, best-selling author, andrew Anderson. Welcome to the podcast. It is such an honor to have you, especially after multiple attempts and fails on my end, thanks to Sick Kids and Phil in the Blank.

Speaker 2: 1:06

That's what happens.

Speaker 1: 1:07

I loved it. I did enjoy reading your book. I'm excited to dive into multiple points and kind of take the listeners on a journey and those of you watching via YouTube, but I want to press the rewind button a little bit. You I'm reading here from the book I remember you mentioned that at 30 years old you were ultimately to summarize it quickly the Cliff Notes version At 30 years old ultimately broke, divorced, living in your parents' basement. So let's chat a little bit about where you were and how that helped launch you to where you are now. And also, side note, there's no judgment for living in your parents' basement. My husband and I lived in my parents' basement twice For different reasons, but many of us have lived in our parents' basement. But share with us a little bit your backstory.

Speaker 2: 2:03

Yeah, absolutely so. 10 years ago. It was we were going in the fall of 2013. I was at the top of my game. I'd been teaching for six years. I loved spending each day with teenage kids that were just super humble and changing their lives and full of energy and hope. And we were in year number seven of marriage and we had baby girl number three on the way.

Speaker 2: 2:29

I'd finished my master's degree and so, within the matter of a month, we moved back to our hometown of Boise, idaho. I finished my master's, I got placed in a new school and we had our little girl, and my wife, in this matter of all of these things happening in that same month, said that she wanted to separate and it just destroyed me, and we talked about dark night of the soul. This was it for me and I believed that I had failed her and I'd failed those three little girls, and ultimately, I believed that I had failed God and I didn't see how any of this could be redeemed. And that's where chapter one of my book starts and that's the you know, my 10 years ago. That's the story of where I was at.

Speaker 1: 3:11

What were you teaching when?

Speaker 2: 3:14

did you, you were a teacher. Yeah, so I was teaching religious education. We did scripture study classes with teenagers that were taking principles from scripture and applying it to their lives and seeing if they can actually become you know, convert and actually have these things change who they were and how they were showing up.

Speaker 1: 3:34

Something I love that you mentioned is the idea of you feel like you failed. Yeah, and it's this really humbling moment I think many of us have been through Right when it's. I shouldn't speak for yourself, but for me. It's amazing how quickly that sense of failure, when you really unravel and peel back the layers, it actually ends up ironically being steeped in pride because it's like you think you should be able to do everything perfectly and do it really really well, and then when it all falls apart, you're like whoa is me? And in the end it's really oh, maybe for too long I haven't been humbly relying on the Lord to be my source of strength and in reality, I have failed, but it's actually because I have been thinking too much of myself, exactly, and that might be my experience not yours, but I love how you pulled that in really quickly.

Speaker 1: 4:33

I think that's pretty universal.

Speaker 2: 4:34

You're not the only one, and I think that's why the story in the book resonates with so many people is because we've all been in that place of I call it unconscious incompetence, not knowing what we don't know about ourselves. And when it comes to pride, we can either choose to be humbled or choose to be humbled because we're aware of our incompetence and our struggle, our sin, whatever that is, and so we can either choose to be humbled or we can be compelled, and for me and for so many, I think, we're more often than not compelled to be humble because we don't have the awareness to make the choice. So my goal as a coach and when I speak, is to bring awareness, to give people an opportunity to make a choice, so they don't have to feel compelled due to life circumstances like I was.

Speaker 1: 5:20

Yeah, what for somebody who is listening and whether they are already at that point perhaps. I'm reading a line that you mentioned on your website depression, anxiety, rage, confusion, loneliness, you name it. I felt it For those of you listening and watching. Maybe you're there now. That line resonates with you right now. You're already sort of at that dark moment, if you will, but for a lot of people they might be on the earlier end, they might not be there yet and certainly this book would be a great read for you. But for somebody who feels like they are walking that direction, if you could have spoken to yourself at year three of that marriage, for example, the first one to that listener and the watcher who might be at that point, what humbly, what advice would you give them for your own experience to help maybe intervene so that they're not at that dark moment, based on your own experience and obviously hindsight, vision is, you know, we don't live looking backward, but we learn from it, and that's kind of the moment we're taking advantage of here.

Speaker 2: 6:37

Yeah, definitely. Well, I've heard it said that those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, and so I have no problem looking back to learn more and share my learnings with others. And what I would say to that version of myself or to anyone else that doesn't know, maybe the direction they're going is we all hold limiting beliefs about ourself and our identity and our role in this world and in God's plan, Like we all hold beliefs deep, deep, deep beliefs and emotions that are tied to those beliefs that aren't serving us. And I would just ask would you be aware, would you be open to exploring something that may be suppressed beneath the surface, that you might not have ever considered before, and that takes a lot of courage and vulnerability for sure. So that's what I do in my book. I ask some of those powerful questions to the reader and I ask them to my clients can I go somewhere that maybe no one else has ever gone with you?

Speaker 1: 7:46

It's the challenge for all of us. Are you willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and allowing yourself to settle there for a little bit, which does take a lot of courage? It's really really hard. So once we get permission right.

Speaker 2: 8:02

And if that person says yes, then I would say, okay, let's be 100% honest and let's look at six areas in what I call your will of life. And this will of life really encompasses most things and I share it in my book and I share it with each of my clients. But when it comes to your career, when it comes to the relationship that matters most in your life, there it is.

Speaker 1: 8:28

When it comes, to Page 51 of the book, I think. Oh man you are Look at that.

Speaker 2: 8:33

You are so prepared, you're on it. Yes, let's verify Yep, page 51. You got it. So, when it comes to these areas, whether it's your fitness and nutrition, or your personal growth and development, your spirituality, or these six core areas on a scale of one to 10, how fulfilled are you, honestly?

Speaker 1: 8:52

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 8:52

And if you're not, yeah, you know, if you're not an eight, nine or a 10, then how long will you be okay, just being complacent at a seven or a six or a five?

Speaker 1: 9:04

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 9:04

And if that continues right, in a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now, what will be the impact of staying in that place of complacency? That's where I would take it.

Speaker 1: 9:16

And I love he just rolled right into that, and I love it because that was one of the things that I wanted to lead into. What I enjoyed To me there was again this is on his Cliff Notes version, because in order to get the entire story you need to buy the book. But what I liked is, even before that Wheel of Life, I think, you know, for people listening and watching, you brought up a really poignant challenge and it was this concept of creating a life mission statement to give you clarity. And here's the thing you guys listening, some of you are like, oh my gosh, heard that a million times, but have you done anything about it? You know, this is the challenge for us.

Speaker 1: 9:55

Is this concept of what do we actually want to be said at our funeral. We don't like to think about it, but it's like, until you really ask those uncomfortable questions, what do you want to be your legacy? And to me, that's ultimately then going in the reverse direction. Okay, so then how do we live today? And what is that life mission statement? Because then you take that statement and you assess with that Wheel of Life and be like okay, according to this statement, how would I rate my fulfillment in these six areas. So here you go, guys. I wrote out my own life mission statement.

Speaker 1: 10:34

I've never done it before. I did this in five minutes, so it's not pretty but right. It just needs to get done.

Speaker 2: 10:41

So those are the listening. We got to keep it simple, right? Keep it simple.

Speaker 1: 10:44

Yeah, which mine is like three, four lines, so I don't know how simple I kept it, but I'm very wordy person.

Speaker 2: 10:50

I want to hear this on. I'm so excited.

Speaker 1: 10:52

Okay, here we go. I'm getting this live right now.

Speaker 2: 10:54

Let's go.

Speaker 1: 10:55

Yes, love it, as are everyone listening. So here we go. Here's my messy mission statement Wordy, maybe not super simple, but I did that in like five minutes. And so, for those of you listening, my challenge for you, as Andrew challenged us in the book, is to just quick jot down what do you want to be said about you, and then how do you write that into a mission statement, and then let's dive a little bit more into that wheel of life. So I'm going to go to page 51. I did this too Wonderful and I want to. I want to give an example. Yeah, please.

Speaker 2: 11:51

I'm going to give you a you shared one that was, you know, as you said, wordy. I don't know it's yours, I'm not going to judge it, but if, if you were to ask my father, who's in his 75th year of life and he has 30 grandkids and he is traveling to states and watching games and helping, like if you were to ask my dad, what his mission life is, it would be this simple to serve everyone, starting with my own family. Like that's his mission in life. He believes that he has this incredible stewardship to serve others, and his family's first, and he says it all the time family first, family forever. So his mission life is to serve everyone, starting with his own family. So it could be as simple as that, or it could be as deep and complex and wordy as on us.

Speaker 1: 12:37

Yeah, and I will give this for my own life. The one thing I have found really helpful with clarity. This is not to negate what you just said, because you're absolutely right, you just need to start somewhere and maybe it is that simple. I do find it helpful sometimes to give that by that extra word that says, okay, here's by and like for your dad. It might be by creating the time to invest in my grandchildren, by traveling around the country to be at their games.

Speaker 2: 13:06

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 13:07

Or to take them out, which you said, and he would probably say if I asked him to put the buy. But for those of you wondering like a template, yeah, and it's a beautiful example, it could be as simple as I want to serve my family, okay, and then my challenge for you is buy, and then if you want to get to the next, it's with, because you're saying by doing what with what tools? With what tools are you going to use? So for me, it's God and Jesus.

Speaker 2: 13:32

That's right.

Speaker 1: 13:33

Because I desperately need something way outside of myself. But it can be whatever it could be, by traveling around the country to be at my kids games with the free time that I have because I'm retired. Still in the blank, yeah, but that mission statement is awesome challenge. So write it down. Pause us. Write it down right now, text it to yourself, because then we need to look at the wheel of life. These are these six areas that he just mentioned, mentioned. So tell us the six, the six areas in the wheel of life again.

Speaker 2: 14:05

So the first would be career. The second is relationship significant other If you're in a marriage, we can call it marriage, right? The third is family, and family is really two fold the family you came from and then, if you've created a family, you have that one as well, and then we have physical fitness and nutrition, which is your, your health when it comes to your body, and then personal growth and development in the last area of spirituality.

Speaker 1: 15:02

Yeah, I love this the wet he did. He showed it to you as well, but it's basically for those of you watching on YouTube so you can give a little. You see my circles. But then you know what I love about it is you take that mission statement. So I wrote down my mission statement and then, based on that clarity, rate yourself from one to 10. So for me I fell into like eight to 10 on five of them. And then the relationship, ironically, with significant others, the one that I rated at like a six, seven, and so I've been very open.

Speaker 1: 15:38

My husband and I are in marriage counseling.

Speaker 1: 15:40

We started in the summer, and my listeners have heard me say this like I firmly believe we need to change the narrative around therapy instead of being an intervention, it needs to be prevention instead of waiting until you know life has blown up and really bad things have happened to get it Like let's intervene earlier so we're not just surviving but we're thriving, and so that's what we're doing, and you know so it was applicable, because then what I love that you said is pick one area. You pick one of them, and then that is what you are going to focus in on and you talk about these breakthrough sessions. So that's what I wrote down. I said my relationship with Zach or significant other, and then you have these breakthrough sessions with your clients where you're ultimately going to focus on that one area. So you've sort of taken them through this journey. And then the expertise that I really want to hone in on here is this concept of helping, once you have narrowed these things down, to help break through the limiting beliefs with something called neuro linguistic programming.

Speaker 2: 16:54

Yes.

Speaker 1: 16:55

To ultimately help create more fulfillment in that area of life. There's so much to unpack there because I love it. It's specific, it's one area. Notice he didn't say we're going to like do all six at one time. It's a one area. So talk to us about neuro linguistic programming and just practically what that looks like. Sure, so helpful.

Speaker 2: 17:18

Yeah, we break it down to the acronym NLP, and NLP became famous when Tony Robbins started helping Andre Agassi decades ago.

Speaker 1: 17:28

Oh, that's hilarious Right.

Speaker 2: 17:30

So yeah, he was the first one that became a practitioner of NLP that really started doing massive transformation in people's lives.

Speaker 1: 17:38

Andre Agassi was a professional tennis player. Right.

Speaker 2: 17:40

Exactly yeah, and he struggled with some terrible drug addiction. And so, whether it's Andre Agassi from the late 80s and 90s into Conor McGregor of the 20s, 20s, like you know, those are the, those are the people that he can help that, the ones that are the most hurting. So a neuro is your brain. Linguistics is not just language, but linguistics is how we make meaning of the world. So how does your brain create meaning and how does that meaning then program you to do the things you do and not do the things you don't do? That's neuro linguistic programming. If we can understand the meaning that you've made about yourself and the world and how that relates to why you do and don't do certain things, then we can actually just follow that thread all the way back to the beginning and create new meaning, because your brain has neuroplasticity. Your neurons, your brain, your belief systems can change, and it doesn't take years and years and years of counseling and therapy. We can do it immediately, just like we can wind the hard drive on your device.

Speaker 1: 18:45

And you know I thought a really concise use said this for somebody who heard all that and was like that just went right over my head. You said it very clearly but it is very basically, from what I understand, neuro linguistic programming is ultimately studying the way our thoughts affect our behavior and changing the narrative that thoughts and emotions are out of our control but are in fact within our control. Would you say that's a fairly accurate that's extremely accurate.

Speaker 2: 19:18

On that, I need to hire you to do copy for my business and my brand. That was beautiful.

Speaker 1: 19:24

Mrs, years of being an emergency medicine practitioner where I'm having to translate complex understanding for patients, just tell it to me.

Speaker 2: 19:32

Simple NLP is well, let me give you one other simple definition NLP is a pattern interrupt. How do we interrupt the pattern so we can create a new one? And that takes place. We do it in the brain. It's very simple.

Speaker 1: 19:46

Well, and what's so interesting? It's, you know, when I was preparing for this interview, I was like, oh my goodness, I'm already using this concept and I didn't even realize it. So with our youngest daughter, she is God is going to use her in big ways. She's very defiant. She is like equal parts stubborn as she is sweet in just really extreme measures and to the point where she's like so stubborn that she will keep going, even at her own expense. She knows the consequences are going to be severe and it's like she just can't stop herself. And then, when the consequences happen, she throws her favorite toy and breaks it in anger. Literally just happened this morning.

Speaker 1: 20:29

She starts formulating the sense that, oh, I'm so sad because I'm such a bad girl, and so the response on my end is always you're not a bad girl, you are a lovely, amazing little girl who is loved, made in the image of God. But sometimes you make bad choices and trying to help her embrace this concept that choices are in fact within her power, and that is a superpower and she's strong. But it's funny because, as I was preparing for this, I'm like, oh my gosh, that's neurolinguistic programming, that's right, no-transcript. I don't understand what I'm doing. But I'm doing it because it makes sense to me that we need to change the narrative. But you know, she's obviously very young. But I'm thinking how do you for the adult, who perhaps didn't have anyone in their life, helping them at a young age, to start changing that narrative or communicating with them? It gives me a lot of grace and compassion for people who you know. I just think of my daughter like you know what if she had nobody?

Speaker 1: 21:38

to speak into her life, which so many people don't. And so that is the programming that has been there for two, three, four decades. Where would you start with them, like how you know? How do you even start communicating with them to get that process? Like the interrupt, the pattern interrupt, where do you start? What's that process look like?

Speaker 2: 22:05

Well, we do it in the very first hour of a four to five hour breakthrough session, and it's very common that someone will say I just learned more about myself in the first hour of our work together than I did. No joke, one woman said in 21 years of therapy with the same professional, and she said I'm so grateful she retired and so and so referred me to you. So it starts very quickly, and all I have to do is ask powerful questions that identify what your patterns are, not only patterns of behavior, but what are you making that behavior mean about you? Your daughter? As much as you work on this, there will come a day, when she's between the ages of 19 and 25, anna, where she will be ready to completely change that narrative.

Speaker 2: 22:57

And I remember when I figured this out, I asked my coach who had been practicing this form of, you know, release work of mental and emotional baggage. He'd been doing it already for 18 years. And I said to him I feel like I'm screwing up my kids because I have seven. And he said, andrew, whether you think you are or aren't, you are and it's not your fault.

Speaker 2: 23:20

It's happening, it's happening.

Speaker 1: 23:22

Amen.

Speaker 2: 23:22

Yeah, it's happening.

Speaker 1: 23:25

And I said because we're imperfect right. There's that humility coming in like let's own it. You guys Just own it.

Speaker 2: 23:29

Well, not only are we imperfect, but I mean we're mortal and we're susceptible to all things that mortality brings, and our goal is to bring conscious awareness and bring our highest and best spirit self, that God within us like to bring that out. And what we'll do with your daughter someday, or what I would do with an adult, is let's get extreme clarity on what you're believing to be true about yourself. Because of these behaviors and when they're real and they actually say the words, I'm not worthy, I'm not lovable, I'm not enough. It almost always brings them, male or female, to cheers and for them to just fully accept that that's what's been running their programming for so long. It's almost relieving to finally know it's like oh, that's. It's not just that I have a headache, there is a tumor in my brain. Okay, now we can do something about it.

Speaker 1: 24:29

So that's where we start and then what is the when you kind of dig into that emotional release in a sense, what are some of the practical pools that you give people in their day to day lives to start interrupting that pattern? I love that phrase.

Speaker 2: 24:48

Well, these are the six focusing questions and I have my clients put this as the background on their phone, the screensaver on their everywhere, that they can possibly look where they're on their devices. I have them put these six focusing questions and when we find ourselves in a mental or emotional hijacking, meaning, well, I can't stop this thought process or I can't get out of these, these emotions that I'm in this tool, these six questions are simple to break that. And the first question is this, and I like to tell my clients imagine that shoulder angel Andrew is sitting on your shoulder and in this moment I whisper in your ear hey, anna, what are you focusing on right now? Okay, number two, what are you making it mean? And number three, what are you doing about it?

Speaker 2: 25:44

So, let's pretend like you didn't have an awesome interaction with your daughter this morning and you lost it, okay, and you're feeling just awful and you pick up the phone and you say, andrew, help me. And I say, okay, what are you focusing on? I'm focusing on her behavior and the fact that she's throwing this huge fit and breaking this toy. Okay, anna, what are you making it mean that I'm failing, like, if we get down to it, I'm failing as a parent, and someday she's going to be in prison.

Speaker 1: 26:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 26:13

Yeah. And then I say what are you doing about it? I'm trying to stop it with the only way I know how, and that is matching her emotions with my own to try to interrupt this pattern. Okay, those are the first three questions. What are you focusing on? What are you making it mean, Like really deep, deep down. And number three what are you doing about it? Those first three questions really help to pause that behavior and bring awareness Cause. When we see ourselves doing something, most of the time we're like that's really stupid, Like what am I doing, and then the next three questions empower something different by saying okay.

Speaker 2: 26:51

Anna? What do you want to focus on instead? What do you want to make this whole thing mean about her and you, and what do you want to do about it? And if we slow those down and back them up and you might say, what do I want to focus on? I want to focus on that. This is a very myopic, a very small moment in the grand scheme of things. What do we want to make it mean that this is age-appropriate behavior? What do we want to do about it? I want to meet her need of love and attention in this moment and making her feel like she belongs to this family, rather than ostracizing her by shaming her in her bedroom by herself. So those are the six focusing questions. What are you focusing on? What are you making mean? What are you doing about it? What would you like to focus on instead? What would you like to make this whole thing mean?

Speaker 1: 27:42

And what do you want to do?

Speaker 2: 27:43

about it.

Speaker 1: 27:45

I love that and I think it's applicable for parenting. Such a great application for that. And then in our own lives, I'm thinking of the woman that I have worked with and spoken with many times. Who is? And that woman you might be listening right now. You might say oh yeah, that's me.

Speaker 1: 28:04

Like the woman who pretty much in as soon as there is conflict or something is outside of your control or our control, the narrative starts to quickly become about exactly what you're saying, this idea of okay. So when I'm feeling anxious, when I'm feeling this sense of you know, my heart rate is rising, I'm overwhelmed, I feel out of control or I feel afraid. I feel like this is also a great opportunity to change that narrative, because it's like what you just said so often when we feel those physiological responses to the mental and emotional narrative, it's like capturing that, like what you're saying. So I get some challenging.

Speaker 1: 28:55

You know, women, if this is you listening, because I this is the woman that I've worked with a lot it's that sense of when you start to feel that anxiety, but you're not sure why. It might just be coming out of nowhere and you're not quite sure where it's coming from, or you're afraid. Maybe it's a pinpoint. You know exactly why, maybe you don't. I think this is such a valuable tool. Like you, stop and you say okay, what am I actually focusing on? And take a moment to say what is uppermost on my mind, because maybe that's actually what's causing the anxiety or the fear, and then what you just said. So what am I focusing on, or what's uppermost on my mind? And then the second one is that really what it is?

Speaker 2: 29:33

it's, you're identifying the trigger. What is it? Yes, yes, triggering this. And number two we're getting to the belief system. What am I making it mean?

Speaker 1: 29:41

Yes, me making machines.

Speaker 2: 29:43

As humans, we give meaning to things that that's not even true or real. It's just ridiculous Most of the meaning we make. So it's identifying the meaning. What am I making this mean? What are the beliefs that I hold around? This trigger this?

Speaker 1: 29:58

whatever, which is so often I'm not enough or I'm failing. I mean that has to be the number one response in my experience working with people, that that is really at the heart of it. I'm not doing enough, I'm not hustling hard enough. Exactly, I am not ultimately in and of myself enough.

Speaker 2: 30:18

That's right, and having done to this date 251 of these breakthrough sessions, which are four to five hours in the last five years, I will tell you that the two things that I get the most is either around worth, worthiness, being enough, or around another form of it is love loveability. I'm not lovable, I'm not, I can't. And again, they always come back to worth, whether it's being enough, good enough or lovable.

Speaker 1: 30:46

Mm-hmm. Yeah, the question am I enough and am I worthy of loving and being loved in return?

Speaker 2: 30:52

That's right.

Speaker 1: 30:53

Yeah, that's, I think, at the heart of for sure. And then the third one. So again I'm speaking to that woman. The third one. So what is what do I believe about that focus?

Speaker 2: 31:01

Yeah, what are you making? And then the third what are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? What are you doing about it?

Speaker 1: 31:06

Yes, yes, I'm eating more or I'm exercising more or I'm laying on the couch more or I am doing more. I think this is a big one in our society and women you can chime in here, leave us a comment on Apple or wherever you leave Listen to your podcast. We're on YouTube and let Andrew and I know. I think this is an interesting one to explore because you might not even realize how these responses play out, because when you actually pause and you say, okay, yeah, what am I focused on? What do I believe then about myself in that focus? And then, three, what am I doing?

Speaker 1: 31:43

I think it really connects the dots for people because they might not even realize, oh, I clean my house because I feel like if it's clean enough, then I'm put back together or I get busier. I always say busy is our self medication for reality. It's like we just get busier, I don't know Like. I love that concept of connecting these dots. So that's my challenge to you guys listening is to take Andrew's these steps and start to connect just those first three. You might realize that things that you tend to do are actually in response to an unhealthy pattern that we need to interrupt.

Speaker 2: 32:28

Well, it's concealer, and I just learned this. Like, my wife doesn't wear a lot of makeup, so it was my daughter, my 15 year old daughter, that was teaching me Like, is that the word? Do I have that right? Is it called concealer?

Speaker 1: 32:41

You were also asking somebody believe it or not who has had a very recent makeup journey. So I don't even think I use concealer, but I think concealer is like a thicker form of foundation that specifically conceal stuff and then it's like the foundation goes over.

Speaker 2: 32:53

Okay, great. So I want you to imagine. Okay, imagine that we and maybe you do, or I do, I don't know but we or someone listening, they have a zit or a pimple and we're trying to conceal it, right, and we put something on. And it's ironic because in so doing, we close the pore and we're not allowing it to breathe and get what it needs, which is oxygen and the healing process.

Speaker 2: 33:20

And the busyness of the modern day mom or the working woman, the busyness of being more involved and more dedicated and pursuing things, becomes a layer upon layer upon layer and it actually builds that pressure. And I love the word breakthrough, because what we do is we take it all off and whatever it is that they've been feeling and thinking about themselves, we're able to release it back into the universe, like literally into the nothingness from whence it was created. And we don't have to conceal, we don't have to hide, we don't have to pretend, we don't have to feel like an imposter anymore, wearing our badges of busyness and our titles of achievement, as who we are defined by.

Speaker 1: 34:07

Yeah, and I think the challenge for us this has been a challenge for both my husband and I, as we've, in marriage counseling especially, really peeled back some of these layers and been like, oh, busyness is definitely one of our Achilles were both high achievers, for good or for bad, and so I think one of the challenges too is in that busyness it might be good stuff. Maybe you're like volunteering at church more, or you sign up to bring more meals. Is it truly out of an overflow of joy and gratitude and abundance, or is it because you actually don't feel like you're enough and so you are trying to, in fact, fill yourself up with that sense of abundance?

Speaker 2: 34:45

A wise man once said a distraction does not have to be evil to be effective. Love that.

Speaker 2: 34:52

It can be something that is good that we are giving up or that we need to give up to do something that's great, or something that's great that we need to give up to do something. So we talk about good to great to do something that's exceptional. That's in our zone of genius and most of us are playing small. We're playing not to lose by staying in these comfort zones of good and great and we're missing out on that zone of genius, that excellence within us.

Speaker 1: 35:18

Yeah, yeah, I love it. Strength of the oak, strength of the willow how to find courage and compassion in a turbulent world. Andrew, where can people learn more about you? Get your book, you guys. The link is going to obviously be in the show notes. It'll be in the YouTube description as well, but where can people find you and follow you?

Speaker 2: 35:41

Well, Amazon is the easiest way. If you want me to read the book to you, you can find it on Audible If you're a Kindle reader.

Speaker 1: 35:48

There you go, he will read it to you.

Speaker 2: 35:49

Yeah, there we go. I'll be the voice in your head, as some of my clients have said.

Speaker 1: 35:53

Literally the little Andrew Angel will be, on your shoulder, in your ear.

Speaker 2: 35:58

There you go, so Amazon, and then I'm on social media you can find me, Andrel Anderson, and then, yeah, that's the easiest way.

Speaker 2: 36:08

And if we're going to leave today without doing something, then I will have felt like we have failed. And Stephen Covey said that learning is changed behavior and as one of my mentors, I have taken that into my classroom and to every call that I do with a client. And if there's just one behavior that I could ask you to change today, it would be that you put down your device, like stop the recording right after this statement and you go serve someone. If you can get outside yourself, even if you're struggling to identify your life mission as on a challenge you to do earlier, if you can just get outside yourself and serve someone, you will find that calling and that mission. And losing ourselves, Jesus said, is how we find ourselves. So I challenge each of you to go serve someone today and if you would like to spend time with me, I'm going to offer three coaching calls complimentary to the first three people that reach out, and you can do so at 30minutesandrewlandersoncom.

Speaker 1: 37:15

And you better run, because I might take it and then my husband might take the second one. Ok we'll open it.

Speaker 2: 37:21

If it's you and your husband, we'll open it to five, but we'll do three spots. I'm happy, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1: 37:26

We will happily give it to listeners. That's a very generous offer. You guys, I would run, not walk, to that offer. There's just so many amazing principles and his website is andrewandersoncom. Is that right?

Speaker 2: 37:42

There's an L in there. You got to remember the L. There's an L in there, my copy and paste dropped it. My mother's maiden name is Lee and she gave me her maiden name, so Andrew L stands for. Lee, I have my dad and my mom's last names in there, so Andrew L Andersoncom.

Speaker 1: 37:55

That is sweet, andrewlandersoncom, you definitely want to click on that link and, for sure, take advantage of that 30 minute. This episode will likely be produced in February, so if you are listening and you are happening to listen on the day that it goes live, get it, give them a call, get that link. And, andrew, it's such an honor, such an honor to have you and I just pray God's blessing over your heart, your home and all the amazing lives that that God is touching through you.

Speaker 2: 38:25

Thank you, Anna. God bless you as well.