The HIDDEN TRUTH About CHILDHOOD ANXIETY - Treatment No One Talks About

In this thought-provoking episode, we dive into the concerning trends of anxiety and mental health issues facing today’s youth. Statistics reveal a staggering rise in anxiety among Generation Z, and the discussion centers around the role parents play in this increasing crisis. Be sure to tune in and uncover the hidden truth about anxiety in our kids and how we can empower them to rise with Christ-like confidence and calm.  Don’t forget to subscribe, share the episode, and leave a review to keep the conversation going!

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Chapters

• 0:48 The Fragility of Today's Generation
• 6:07 The Christian Perspective on Fear and Safetyism
• 30:31 The Struggles of Parenting and Anxiety
• 3:21:18 The Dangers of Overprotecting Our Children
• 8:00:27 The Spiritual Struggle of Our Kids and Ourselves
• 16:57:01 Finding Strength in Our Own Struggles

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

We are creating a generation that is fragile, anxious and emotionally unprepared for life. As Christian moms, the danger is even more subtle because we often justify the safetyism or fear-driven decisions by calling it biblical wisdom. Hi Rising Stars, welcome to today's live training and member-only Q&A. If you are tuning in later on the Rise Renewed podcast, welcome. We're so glad that you're here.

Speaker 1: 0:32

Recently I was on a walk with a good friend of mine, sister in Christ. We were on a prayer walk, updating each other on life, how we can be praying for each other, and at one point she talked about how she was especially struggling with one of her children, and what she insightfully recognized is that she said I'm recognizing that I'm struggling because her struggle with anxiety is a reflection of my own. Her child's struggle with anxiety not only provoked her own anxiety, but also was an uncomfortable reflection of her own. For many of us as moms, we have had to confront our own anxiety as we face our children's, and it's often relatively uncomfortable and makes it even harder for us when we see our own struggles reflected in our children. Anxiety is natural, it's self-protective, but when it is chronic it becomes incredibly dangerous to every single dimension of our health emotional, mental, physical, social and spiritual. But per the research, there is no one in more danger right now of anxiety than the next generations. We have a mental health crisis across all ages, but no one is in more danger than our kids. 42% of Gen Z have a mental health diagnosis. Teen suicide rates have surged 60% since 2007. Adolescent depression and anxiety have doubled in the last decade and, to be clear, these numbers are not drastically different between whether or not someone identifies as a Christian or not. Therapy, medication, school interventions don't seem to be enough.

Speaker 1: 2:34

We parents, we're seeking solutions, but what if we are looking in the wrong place? As a dual certified nurse practitioner, I worked in emergency medicine for 10 years. I have treated children in crisis. I've consoled parents who feel powerless. I have stood by the bedside and wept with parents who have to look at their child who took their own life. I have watched as the system struggles to keep up with the growing demand. And this is not just for adolescents, this is not just for children, this is certainly for adults as well, but for us today, here is the hard truth Our kids' anxiety is not just theirs, it's ours. We're trying to protect our kids, but what if we're protecting them from the wrong things. What if the very efforts that we are making to help them thrive are actually making them more anxious? Today, we're going to unpack some uncomfortable but necessary questions. Why are kids, per the data, more anxious than ever, despite having an increase in security features, more awareness and here in the United States, more comfort? How is modern parenting, including in Christian homes, unknowingly fueling this crisis? And, most importantly, what can we do about it? What needs to change? If your child is struggling with anxiety, the first step to helping them might not be what you think. Keep listening. This might change everything.

Speaker 1: 4:13

As Christian moms, we are not immune to this crisis. I've mentioned before that the data is consistent across the board and the reality is, as Christian moms, we may unknowingly be contributing to this mental health crisis. We want what's best for our children. I own that, you own that. We all want what's best. Our intentions are good, but what is too often happening and I've seen it in my own life and we're parenting from a place of worry rather than wisdom. We are unintentionally passing our own fears onto our children. We're projecting our own, oftentimes undealt with, insecurities onto our kids, and it's often happening without us even realizing it.

Speaker 1: 5:08

I've mentioned before the groundbreaking underrated, frankly book, the Anxious Generation, written by Jonathan Haidt. Jonathan describes something called safetyism. His book is talking about how we overprotect our kids in the real world and underprotect them online. But a very essential concept that he talks about is this idea of safety ism, how modern parenting has fallen into this trap where we shield our children from possible harm. Now again, he's specifically talking about harm in the real world while exposing them in the virtual one. But the point that he's making and he talks about even like playgrounds, how we have like overprotected kids on playgrounds, and this idea of not just emotionally and mentally, but also physically and socially and, I'm going to argue, spiritually we are creating a generation that is fragile, anxious and emotionally unprepared for life.

Speaker 1: 6:11

As Christian moms, the danger is even more subtle because we often justify the safetyism or fear-driven decisions by calling it biblical wisdom. By calling it biblical wisdom, I'm going to give a controversial example how we choose to educate our kids. Some moms are like oh, here we go, we all have our opinions, but here's the reality. We fear what they'll be exposed to in a public school, so we send them to a Christian school. We fear losing involvement in the curriculum or the convenience of our schedules. So we homeschool. We fear sheltering them too much, so we insist on public school. None of these choices are wrong. None of them are inherently right. None of them are inherently wrong. No-transcript. And too often again, if we are willing to be honest, we protect our kids from the struggle.

Speaker 1: 7:18

I'm going to go so far as to say, as Christian moms, we protect them from the struggle of sin because it's more convenient for us. It is easier to shield our kids from the battle than to walk through it with them. But just as comfort does not build emotional resilience, it does not reveal God's grace either. For them and for us to truly experience grace, we have to feel the weight of our sin. In order for our kids to truly experience the saving grace of Jesus Christ, they have to be able to feel the weight of their sin. And that hurts. It hurts, it hurts us, it hurts our kids. Our kids' pain is our pain. It hurts us, it hurts our kids. Our kids' pain is our pain, and so we avoid it. But true spiritual strength is not found in safety. It's forged in struggle. Tim Keller, in Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, says this suffering is a way to know God, not just to know about him. If we want our children, if we ourselves want to form a deep personal connection with god, our children, where they don't just know of him but feel known by him, then we must allow them to spiritually struggle.

Speaker 1: 8:48

There's another example in jonathan height's book, and I'm going to butcher it, but he talks about these trees and I forget where this forest is. If I was better prepared for this analogy I just remembered it right now, I would have had written it out better. But he talks about this type of tree that, ultimately, is forged by the elements. So what they did is this experiment they tried to grow these trees in a greenhouse. They failed to thrive because they did not have the resistance of the wind, the rain and all of the elements. That, in nature, was actually strengthening the tree in order for it to grow and survive grow and survive.

Speaker 1: 9:42

The idea is this that when we shelter our kids from the elements, from the storm, even in our desire and our intention for as parents, are we truly seeking God's best or are we trying to control what we fear in order to spare ourselves from pain? When we let our unprocessed fears shape our parenting. We teach our children to fear the world instead of trust the God, who has already overcome it. If we hover over them to prevent failure, then they learn they're incapable. If we micromanage their friendships, they never learn to navigate conflict. If we constantly shield them from worldly influence, they'll learn to measure decisions by obedience to parental rules rather than by spirit-led discernment, and the exact same thing is true of ourselves.

Speaker 1: 10:43

The best treatment for anxiety, the best childhood anxiety treatment, is not just more therapy. It is not just the perfect school environment, it is not just removing them from the struggle. The single best treatment for our children's anxiety is moms who are willing to look inward, is moms who are willing to look inward, to face our own fear and enter into the fears of our children with them. We cannot help our children find peace if we are filled with worry. We can't leave them in confidence if we are controlled by fear, and we cannot expect them to trust a living God if we cling to our own control.

Speaker 1: 11:41

I was recently challenged with this truth. I was reading Romans 5, and verses 3 through 4 say this we also glory in our suffering because we know that suffering produces perseverance, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope. If we want our kids to rise with Christ-like perseverance, character and hope, then we must lead by example. We have got to learn how to embrace our own struggle, not avoid it. Not avoid it out of the fear of exposing our own weakness, imperfection and sin. I don't know about you, but when I'm entirely honest with myself, that's what it comes down to. I want to avoid the struggle, including my kids. This is why self-reflection for us as moms, humility before the throne of God, is not a luxury, it's a necessity.

Speaker 1: 12:43

This idea of being still that we talk about an early morning habit, it's not a luxury. Self-care is often promoted as a luxury, like, oh, wouldn't it be so nice to have the time to go to the spa, uh-uh, that's not self-care. That self-indulgence is also important, but that is not what we're talking about at Early Morning Habit. We are talking about self-care that promotes life across all areas of it, including spiritual, including life in Christ. For those of us here today, those of us in the Early Morning Habit community, what we are doing, for those of us that need this reminder of why you signed up, why you're here, why you're still in the program. Why you're in the community, is because we are inviting you, we are partnering with each other to start every day paused, reflecting, resetting and gazing upon God, grounding ourselves in the truth that he is enough for the day, before we're distracted by what the day brings, including our own fears. It is about rewiring our minds for a faith that doesn't avoid fear.

Speaker 1: 14:01

For those of you that have not heard me say this before, I am not about the doctrine of faith over fear. It's not biblical. It is about faith through fear, because he is with us. Isaiah 41, 10. So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. The neighboring verses talk about how he will walk through the fire. Not necessarily get you out of it, not necessarily walk you around it. No, he'll walk us through it. It's not going to feel great, but he is with us and that's where our confidence is. In these quiet moments in the morning, we are grounding ourselves in the truth that God is enough. We are asking him to make himself known to us, to help us feel known by him, so that we can be fueled with Christ-centered resilience that empowers us to face life's challenges and to guide our kids through theirs, not to pull them out of it or to help them avoid it, but to help them walk through it, just as Jesus has done for us and with us, to build that unwavering Christ-like confidence that is not the absence of fear, rather faith that walks right through it. This is the kind of resilience that endures.

Speaker 1: 15:43

I'll mention again the Anxious Generation. It is a pivotal read for parents today. If you need to buy yourself a book, this one is it. Jonathan Haidt is a self-proclaimed atheist, by the way. I love how the Lord gives wisdom to people, even if they don't even proclaim that that wisdom is his. There's a lot of truth in this book. Praise the Lord. I pray that he also knows the Lord one day. But he talks about safety as a maneuver, protection or hindering kids' development, the damaging impact of smartphones and social media on mental health and why resilience is the missing link, and I'm going to suggest it is the missing link in spiritual development as well.

Speaker 1: 16:19

But simply knowing about the problem isn't enough. We must actively transform ourselves to model this peace, strength and unwavering trust. I'll end with this moms. If we want our kids to be less anxious, then we have to feel more at peace. If we want them to be confident, we must model what it is to trust God. If we want them to be emotionally resilient, then we must we must strengthen our own sense of identity in Christ.

Speaker 1: 16:57

It's time to stop parenting from a place of fear. I speak to myself as much as anyone. We need to stop protecting our kids from people or ideas that might challenge what we want them to believe. Let's not limit God. We are not God. God is, and we need to stop seeking quick fix solutions to childhood anxiety that are actually masking our issues. What I'm not saying, and what I want to make sure no one takes away from this, is that the treatments for anxiety are not beneficial, that they're not relevant. I have talked about anxiety before. What I am calling us to, though, is to make sure that we understand that the best solution for our kids is to actually focus on us, which is what we are doing here at Early Morning Habit, allowing God to renew our minds so we can raise and rise together, resilient and faith-filled, one morning at a time.

Speaker 1: 18:02

Feel free to drop comments in the app If you have thoughts on this, we'd love to hear them. Those of you listening on the podcast, we'd love to hear your thoughts as well. Feel free to comment in the comments on the blog post or the show notes. Let me pray over us. I don't know about you, but this is something I always need prayer for Lord.

Speaker 1: 18:20

I pray right now for us, as moms, in the heart of fear. The fact is, fear is at the root of all sin. It really is. It is the root emotion of behavior that is not honoring to you and it's human. It's inherent to this experience on this side of eternity, because we don't know the future. We don't. Only you do, and it's why we can rest in the fact that you are enough, because you literally cannot fear, because you are. All things are in and through you. You hold everything together, and so, when it comes even to my children, they're not really mine, they are of you, they're through you, and so I ask that, when it comes to the decisions that we make and we are all just trying to do our best, but I invite us and I pray that you would give us the strength and the energy to do the hard work and to ask ourselves the question of where is my behavior, my decision as a mom?

Speaker 1: 19:32

Where is it rooted in? What emotion is it rooted in? What thought is it rooted in? Are we behaving out of the truth that you are enough and that we are enough because of you? Or are we rooted in fear Fear that we're not enough, that there'll be shame if our kids make poor choices and then our own sin is exposed, our own weakness is exposed and we're judged? Or is it out of fear that we're doubting your sovereignty and that, if we move forward with a decision and something doesn't go right, that maybe we made the wrong one and we didn't bring you glory? Lord, help us to have faith that overcomes our doubts, that overcomes the fear. Help us to walk through the fire because you're with us. Lord, we love you. We pray over this week that you would uh, you are walking with us, but help us to feel your presence. Help us to feel it and to believe it. Lord, we love you. Amen.