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The SURPRISING TRUTH About Healing FAMILY ESTRANGEMENT (and How to Move Forward) with Estrangement Coach Sally Harris

• Ahna Fulmer | Holistic Health & Fitness Coach, Emotionally Intelligent Selfcare Specialist, Keynote Speaker

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Whether you're navigating family estrangement or striving to build strong relationships with your children at any age, this conversation with estrangement coach Sally Harris offers expert insight on understanding, healing, and rebuilding. Her journey proves that joy and purpose are possible—whether reconciliation happens or not. 

Sally Harris has helped thousands of moms estranged from their children, find healing and move forward with peace—even if reconciliation hasn’t happened. Her coaching, online programs, and YouTube resources provide the guidance and support moms need to heal and rebuild.

🔗 Take the EmpowerMom Quiz to assess your support needs and begin your healing journey: https://www.sally-harris.com/

🔗 Watch Sally’s Free YouTube Videos for practical guidance and encouragement: https://www.youtube.com/@sallyharriscoaching

🔗 Book a Discovery Call: http://www.sally-harris.com/

Revitalize your faith and fitness with a morning routine that does not sacrifice your sleep and does start each day with God's Word and a workout. Join the community today at www.earlymorninghabit.com 

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Speaker 1:

We're in control of the situations. We sometimes even speak for them. We're not being the consultant parent, we're being the helicopter, we're doing all these things, but then there they sit, not knowing who they are right, expecting you to fix everything. But then, all of a sudden, they become an adult and we find ourselves with issues with communication with them.

Speaker 2:

Hi Rais Rising Stars, welcome to today's live training and member-only Q&A and if you are tuning in later via the Rise Renewed podcast, welcome. We are so glad that you're here. If you are struggling with family estrangement, whether from an adult, a child, parent or another loved one, you are not alone. Our guest today is Sally Harris, and Sally has dedicated her life to helping moms navigate the heartbreak of estrangement while reclaiming their own joy, identity and purpose. With over a thousand hours of coaching, more than 1.7 million YouTube views and thousands served, she is a beacon of hope for anyone feeling lost in the pain of a fractured family relationship. From her own journey of overcoming addiction, depression and estrangement from her own daughter, she is here to share her expert advice on moving from heartbreak to hope without waiting for others to change first. Welcome Estrangement Coach Sally Harris, hi thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 2:

It is such an honor to have you here. I met Sally at a business conference and we were out to dinner and talking and you know, what you do is so specific and niched down and not something that a lot of people are openly looking for. Right. It's like one of those things where there's so many women who need what you do and some of them may or may not even be willing to acknowledge it to themselves. So you just have such a unique, a unique service that you offer and I think, before we get further into what you do, I would love to hear more about your story and how you got to where you are and and speaking to that woman who might be listening right now, who maybe doesn't even realize that she's estranged, which sounds crazy, but I think there are more people in fractured relationships than they realize.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, absolutely Well, and that's a great segue too, because a lot of people will say no-transcript. There was 10 years from I say start to finish, that we navigated this with my daughter and you know I always the best way to describe it is when her life was spiraling out of control, so did mine, and so, because she was spiraling, so was I. I turned to alcohol. A lot of bad habits, wasn't taking care of myself, was isolating, like you mentioned, a lot of moms they don't even realize what they're doing to themselves when they do that. So, like I said, it might be just be a fractured relationship. It could be something that will, you know, mend itself in a very short period of time, and it might not. But my biggest thing is we can't lose hope. So I navigated this for many, many years and I always tell my clients I did everything wrong so I can teach you to do everything right, amen.

Speaker 2:

Amen, yeah, what on that note name? I'm putting you on the spot, but if you could say the top three things that you did wrong and you see a lot of others doing wrong before we talk about what you do right, first tell us what three things maybe were done wrong.

Speaker 1:

Well, number one is I tried to. Well, I didn't try to. I did numb my pain. I didn't want to deal with the reality of what was happening and so I turned to alcohol and that was a slippery slope that I never expected it to be. What started out, as you know, a couple glasses of wine and do a couple bottles of wine on a daily basis. And so that was the first one, which carried over into everything else, health wise and everything.

Speaker 1:

The second would probably be perceived of control. We have moms have this perception that we have control over the situation and that we can fix it, and it's a perceived lack of control, really, and it takes time to allow yourself to really understand that and learn more about that and to accept that you don't have the control that you had when they were little and we're you know the days where you were responsible for fixing all their problems and putting the band-aids on and doing all the things that we all did or are doing. But these are grown-up problems. You know these are. We're talking adult children here, adult kids, adult children. So that was another big one.

Speaker 1:

The other would be isolating.

Speaker 1:

Honestly, I isolated for a long time family, close friends, but I also would have that expectation that they were supposed to help me fix it and that they were supposed to understand what I was going through, when, I promise you, nobody understood what I was going through.

Speaker 1:

And as a human being, we tend to expect those people closest to us to help us navigate it, Like if you were going through a divorce or your parent died or anything any other struggle that we have in life.

Speaker 1:

This situation is the most heartbreaking, in my opinion, besides the loss of a child altogether, this is one of the most heartbreaking situations and journeys that we can find ourselves on. And so to be able to have the right people around you and I quickly learned, after pushing away some friends even, and almost getting a divorce and isolating my other kids sometimes because I was so consumed with talking about just the one problem, the one situation that I couldn't fix. So the isolation really hurts when you don't have the right people around you. And I always say the people closest to you are not going to be the ones to help you through this. We expect them to be just logically like well, of course that's my spouse or my best friend and they can be a beacon of light and support, but they're not going to be the one to guide you through it.

Speaker 2:

Talk a little bit about.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I think this is applicable for a lot of things that you're about to address right here. But this idea of isolation and then turning what I hear you saying the people that you're closest to I think what's also being said there is the people that you're most comfortable with, and I think one of I mean, I have been convicted of this, I have seen this in my own life where it's not at all wrong to have those people that you're really comfortable with be your accountability, be the ones who are going to hold you up when you can't stand yourself. I think is something that a lot of us miss is that, in order to see significant change, we have to significantly change what we're doing. So it's like if we keep going to the same people for help, then I'm not sure how we're going to expect a different outcome as well. So it's sort of that.

Speaker 2:

I think what you're saying like I'm trying to sort of spit that out in a way that I think a lot of us need to hear, that we might not be thinking about is talk to me a little bit about this idea of getting the right support, finding the right people, because we're not saying don't stay open and vulnerable with the people you're comfortable with, but where do we settle? And still isolate ourselves, even if we're talking to people that we're close to. What are we missing? Exactly what?

Speaker 1:

you just said, because we need to be open to new advice, and those same people in your world unless they're out there learning these tools or learning these strategies, most likely they haven't been through anything like this before, and so I believe it's just like anything else that we go through. You need to navigate with someone who's been there, because we have the roadmap. Yeah, you know, and, like I said, I made. I made the mistakes, but then I turned it around and I started doing the right things and I saw results.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and I think too it's, it's the wisdom to know sort of how different people serve you in your life and how you serve other people as well. It's like I can think right now of certain people who, it's like they serve this role in my life in terms of, like this person is going to help hold me accountable. She's going to call me out because she's known me for 5,000 years you know what I mean Like she's been there forever. There's that, there's that um, deep connection. It's like I'm I'm safe there, um.

Speaker 2:

But then there's other people who might be able to call me out in different ways because there isn't years and years of history and they can see me as I am today without any assumptions of who I'm supposed to be, where I came from, who I was, and they can just point out things that maybe that other person who's known me forever would miss, because they have known me for so long and they know who I was and who I should be, type of a thing. So I think isolation what neither Sally or I are saying to be clear, because I think a lot of us get this wrong. It doesn't mean you're just sitting in your room or in your house and not talking to people. Exactly, exactly. You might be posting every day on Facebook about your struggles and still be completely isolated. You might be talking to friends at church every Sunday and still be isolating yourself because you're not actually stepping out of your comfort zone to seek vulnerable, exposing growth.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, and that's hard, and nothing changes if nothing changes, right? Yes, as you know.

Speaker 2:

Yes, including the people that we're talking to I.

Speaker 2:

Um, you also mentioned something that I just want to touch on here. You know many of us here in the early morning habit community are and I'm sure many women listening are raising younger or school aged children, and that could be anywhere from third grade up through college maybe. I'm curious based on your experience working with so many women, your own personal experience, what insights would you share to help us foster these relationships and possibly prevent estrangement? Right the like hindsight vision is 2020. Are there any patterns that you have uncovered for yourself and also for a lot of these other moms that you work with, that we should be mindful of and proactive about today?

Speaker 1:

Yes, I love that you asked that because I'm so passionate about that. Eventually, this will become part of my business because I want to be proactive. Right now, I had to meet myself where I was at and now I meet other women where they're at. But, you're right, how do we prevent it? Well, it's not 100% preventable because your children are their own person with free will own person with free will right and up to a certain age. We are the most powerful influence over our kids. We're everything to them and as a mom, you can't imagine not being that person anymore. But we have to realize that as they grow they're in school they have other influences as they grow even more. You've got social media, you've got teachers. Kids, like all the other people in their world, start to influence them. Some you will know about and some you won't. As much as we try to keep that cohesive, like mom knows everything, like trying to control the atmosphere here, just trying to protect them and keep them safe, that's our job.

Speaker 1:

But I think I know one thing that I did wrong is two things. Number one for those of your moms that maybe come from a divorce or just a broken marriage, broken family in general, I tried to make up for that. I tried to be mom and dad, because I was a single mom for six years, and this is when they were younger. But it wasn't until many years later I realized that I could not fill that space of dad and I certainly couldn't be Jesus, right, amen. So. But we try to do everything. It's like it's okay that he's not around, it's okay he doesn't do visitation, because I can be both parents, I love them enough for both of us and it's just not reality. There's still a hole in their heart from a fractured parental relationship. I see this all the time now with the grown kids. So there's that piece. But also I feel like there becomes an age probably more around junior, high-ish, for sure, high school where we have to start letting go a little bit and stop keeping the range so tight where we're trying to control everything that they do and still keeping all those parameters around everything.

Speaker 1:

Because I know now that if my kids were going to fall, I wanted them to do it under my roof. If they were going to make mistakes, I wanted it to be while they were still at home. Now, again, controlling, you know who they're hanging out with, who their friends are. You can only do that to a certain degree. I thought I had that all taken care of and I was so wrong. You know, hidden things stay hidden, right, even when you think you've got everything under control. You just we don't. And so, just keeping an eye on those reins and making sure that you know, I believe my daughter was 16 when I learned about love and logic. I believe my daughter was 16 when I learned about love and logic.

Speaker 1:

You ever heard of that? No, no, I can't remember the author, but there's a book, there's DVDs, there's all the things Amazing. It's about how to be a consultant parent, not a helicopter mom, not a drill sergeant, which I think I was those two, teaching them how to think for themselves and don't tell them what to do all the time. Let them make some mistakes so they can learn from it, because I don't know about you, but that's where I've learned. All of the growth that I've had in my life came from some really crappy mistakes. But that's how we grow and our kids are no different. And when they realize like, oh yeah, I remember, you know what. But mom, let me take that, you know, not a dangerous path, but my mom. But, mom, let me do this or that. You know and I learned from it, and so it's just navigating that that consultant like helping them think for themselves, make decisions, and for every decision there's a consequence and we all know that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, you know it's interesting. You talked about I can't be. You talked about from a perspective of a fractured marriage, possibly in raising and helping prevent estrangement from a child. You mentioned this idea of I wish I had recognized I can't be dad and I can't be Jesus as mom, and you know I'm going to suggest that we do this even if we're not in a divorced situation.

Speaker 2:

But there's a lot of us that still and it comes down to control are very possibly guilty of trying to fill in the gaps that we think might exist in our spouse, or fill in the gaps where we think might exist in their spiritual walk, and very much run the risk of playing the roles that we're not supposed to play. And, like you said, when not allowing for just ultimately, consequences might even be too strong of a word for some of it, but just simply that idea of being still and ultimately trusting that, like you just said, our children have been given the gift of free will and especially as they get older, you know what does it look like to? Yeah, I like the consultant concept, especially as they get older. You know, in all things, in like life choices, but also in spiritual ones, where it's like we have to make sure they don't feel like they are doing the things they're supposed to do, simply because that's what will make us happy, versus letting them struggle, even if it causes us pain, which leads to the second thing you said. Hidden things stay hidden and I think a lot of times is because we want to avoid hurting people. Like at its heart is a good intention.

Speaker 2:

However, are we, as moms, allowing for our kids to hurt themselves and ultimately hurt us? Because that's when hidden things really stay hidden, right, right, absolutely. Because that's when hidden things really stay hidden, right, right, absolutely. One of the other things that you talk about is this idea that reconciliation isn't the goal. Personal transformation is suggest that this concept is true of us, whether we have an estranged relationship with a family member or whether we're trying to create healthy relationships. Now, this whole concept is still crucial because I think it still speaks to this letting go piece and controlling the things we can and letting go of the things that we can't. So talk to me a little bit about no-transcript.

Speaker 1:

Well, the biggest thing that I see with the moms that I serve and this is something I learned myself and it sounds really basic, but it can solve so many relationship issues is communication, communication. So, as mom, we go backwards like we were saying how we're in control of the situations. We sometimes even speak for them. We're not being the consultant parent, we're being the helicopter, we're doing all these things. But then there they sit with, not knowing who they are right, expecting you to fix everything. But then all of a sudden they become an adult and we find ourselves with issues with communication with them. So at the end of the day, it really boils down to the personal transformation happens when the mom has to look in the mirror and say what can I change? Because a relationship is two people. Even when it's your child, it's still a relationship. It takes two people. We count ourselves as one with our kids so much because they're hooked to our hip for so many years, right, and then here they are, navigating their own world, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. There's different reasons why these, why these estrangements happen, but sometimes they want to try to realize, they want to get out and release themselves from the family so they know what they're made of because they haven't been given that opportunity and so to be able to, because they haven't been given that opportunity, and so to be able to navigate the relationship with them on that more of that consultant level, as a younger child, but even as an adult. So making sure we're not giving unsolicited advice, right, this becomes an adultult relationship, not a parent-child. Yeah, you know, these are the over 18 I'm speaking of, and so navigating that can be really hard and it takes adjustment. But I just shared last night in my group I had a one-on-one client and she shared with me. We had just finished up our time together and that's exactly the main thing we worked on with her was to not push her son before he was ready to communicate and to respect the space and while she was waiting. She doesn't just sit and wait and isolate and do the things that we were talking about. This is where she stands up, looks in the mirror, is like, okay, what can I work on about me? And so she did all these things. She did that and now her son fast forward these several months together. She was able to hear from him in a text and it said thank you for giving me the space that I needed to allow myself to work through X, y, z. It has helped tremendously. So she just has that bond back with her son that she didn't have a few months ago. Why? Because she wasn't pushing, she was letting him navigate whatever it was that he needed to navigate.

Speaker 1:

Even though it hurt and you feel rejected from your son or your daughter and it's difficult, you want to rush in there and fix it. And if it's not happening fast enough, that's typically what I see is they're rushing in, they're sending letters, they're calling, they're texting nonstop. And I'll be honest, unfortunately and I'm not against therapy, but I have seen there's good therapists, bad therapists, just like anything else in the world, right. But in the last several years I have seen so many people come to me who's either they were in therapy or their child was in therapy, and they receive a note or a letter from their child which is completely scripted you can tell just by reading it. It's got all the buzzwords and telling mom that I need a pause, I need a break. I'm putting boundaries around you Because nowadays this is what's happening.

Speaker 1:

People are going to get help and instead of trying to reconcile the family, they just if someone doesn't agree with you, your belief system, how you want to live your life, just cut them out.

Speaker 1:

It doesn't matter that it's family, and so even those situations which are so dire, so hard, you know, I've seen a lot of adult children renounce or denounce their faith, how they were raised.

Speaker 1:

They literally take classes to do it and it's devastating for the moms.

Speaker 1:

But even some of those I've seen come around. But it takes time, takes patience, and when the mom can sit there and realize, okay, I need to work on this, I need to grow, I need personal growth myself, I need to focus on my own hobbies, the things that I love to do. I need to focus on my health, because if I don't get my thoughts under control, my physical health is going to go down the tubes, which I see it all the time and it happened to me and it happened to me. And so just navigating all of those things are just so important and they seem simplistic, but that person in your family or best friend probably is not giving you that kind of guidance and walking through step-by-step of when to pause, cause a lot of people, as a mom, we just think well, just keep calling him, just text him, you know, and every family is a little bit different, so this certainly is not a cookie cutter approach for people. You know a lot, of, a lot of variables for sure, as you're talking, I'm hearing a couple things.

Speaker 2:

One you mentioned communication, um, and I mean I have been trying to work on this even now with my kids being 12, 10, and 7, but trying to get better at leading with questions, not statements, because people won't be hearing this and being like, okay, how, like, what do I do? What does communication change look like? And I won't speak for Sally, but for myself. You know this idea of with that consultant. It's like helping them think independently while also making them feel seen and cared for sometimes just requires the art of asking better questions, and with that then comes a willingness to hear the answer and a willingness to possibly just be silent and not then given this is where it's hard for me no shocker to anyone probably listening to be silent then when they respond and I'm like wait, but I have all these words of wisdom for you, and sometimes it's just allowing yourself to let them process without feeling the need to speak into it, and maybe it's just ending it with well, let's pray about that together, right, it's leaving it open-ended and also then making it a very personal sense of let's bring this to the Lord. You're not providing an answer, let's ask the Lord to guide it, and I'm trying to maybe hit two things with this.

Speaker 2:

For moms, listening and I think this is true for your older children too is in general, I think we need to get better about asking questions.

Speaker 2:

We need to get better about allowing the conversation to be open-ended, meaning we're not closing it with our thoughts and what we think they should do.

Speaker 2:

And third, we should be allowing them to also feel the very real need to be bringing it before the Lord and that they see us leading in that way where we're not leading the answer. We are saying Lord, can you speak into this? Give us wisdom, yeah, to make it feel like there's more of that, that partnership, and ultimately making the Lord a part of it, in a way where we and our children have to hear from him rather than just our own wisdom as opposed to well, this is what you do because the Bible said it, and we never even bring the Lord into the conversation. It's like, well, the Bible said it, you know, well, I pray about it, or we pray to a specific end rather than just give us wisdom. So I don't know. As I'm listening, I'm thinking even now, at this age, you know the challenge to be doing that, but maybe even for the adults, the adult children, maybe sometimes it needs to be that way too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think one of the biggest things and this could apply with your kids at whatever age you feel appropriate but sometimes the best way for the communication with your child is when they start to tell you something, especially if you're a mom who wants to fix it and they're traditionally used to you coming in and rescuing. What if, rather, we said, okay, it sounds like you've got something going on. Do you want me to just listen or do you want my advice? Because it's really just, they just want to be heard. I find that, especially with and I'm sure it's no different with our little ones, right, I certainly didn't have all those skills when my kids were little. I certainly didn't have all those skills when my kids were little. So it's great stuff. It's great stuff because, um, especially if you start young, like you said, the prevention piece, they're going to be accustomed to that. This is just how we handled issues. This is how we handle problems, like you prayed about it.

Speaker 2:

You ask God for wisdom. Mom doesn't have all the answers. Amen, amen to that. This mom certainly doesn't, at least.

Speaker 2:

Well, and again, I would say that this still applies to the mom with adult children who are strained because you need to start like, if this is, if you're listening and you're like, ok, but I don't have the young kids, I'm already in this boat you still need to be practicing this, right, it's a rewiring.

Speaker 2:

So, even if that is you and it's your estranged child, how about start practicing this in your friendship, start practicing this in your marriage. When someone comes to you with a problem or comes to you with you know there is no wrong place to start here. It's like these patterns exist beyond just our parenting and are going to help us in all relationships. So, you know, even if you're listening and that is you and you have the older child, the thought would be start being really attentive to your other relationships. Do you actually jump in with all your thoughts and opinions in your other relationships as well? Maybe there just needs to be more silence and more wisdom and more maybe even humility, to just be like, oh, tell me more, with with no, no sharing of opinion.

Speaker 1:

And the active listening. Active listening I have a mom, I have a mom that that I coached that. She literally her daughter. She practiced that with her daughter and she actually took notes while her daughter was talking. And her daughter didn't mind, she was just like I just want to make sure that I'm hearing you correctly. And her daughter actually respected that. And after the conversation she said you know what, mom, that is the best conversation we have ever had. Why? Because the daughter felt heard and mom wasn't interjecting.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, okay, I'm going to take it one step further. Ladies those of you listening social media this is another one that sometimes, if we want to rewire, then I would also say reevaluate how you respond on social media, because this is also probably a reflection of your personal relationships. If you are the one that feels like you read something, you disagree with it, you have to respond. This is another great place to practice silence. Let it air. You do not need to respond on social media either. Give it to the Lord, you responding in a heated argument on social media is not going to change anything and it might just create even more inflammation, and you're not rewiring patterns that clearly exist in multiple areas. So that's another thought that comes to mind. I love that.

Speaker 1:

I love that I have a YouTube channel. Need I say more? Listen people need to take your advice to heart.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and she her YouTube. What is your YouTube channel name? By the way, she has a fantastic YouTube channel.

Speaker 1:

It's under my name, sally Harris, sally.

Speaker 2:

Harris, yes, you definitely, definitely want to check out Sally's YouTube channel. Um, the last thing that I would ask is what are practical action steps? So let's get back to the mom who, like the woman that you serve so well, who has this estrangement with, with a child, um, what one, two, three or just like whatever, whatever comes to mind. What are practical things that she can do tomorrow? Like, she listens to this episode, she watches it wherever she's getting it. What are the next best steps? So, obviously you really want to start to see change. I highly recommend hiring Sally. I'll say that because it should still be said. This is what she does for a living. But if you just need a next step for yourself, what would you say she should do?

Speaker 1:

Well, I would say first of all, if you don't mind me giving an example of as far as a support system. Number one for every single mom is who's your support system? Now, mind you, I fully believe they need a community, whether it's mine or someone else's. They need support from someone who's been there with what they're going through, but in their real everyday life.

Speaker 1:

they need to find at least two people, just two. Some may only find one, and that's okay, but they need to find at least two people who can be their support system, who are going to be empathetic. They may not completely understand, but there's no judgment, there's no criticism. I can call you 24-7 if I needed you. That may be a spouse, it may be a sister, it may be a friend, because what happens is I use the analogy of if you're on a beautiful, large front porch and you're sitting there and you ask yourself these are the people, these are my people on the front porch, these are the people that I can trust, that what I tell them, it isn't going anywhere. Whether they can completely identify with what I'm going through or not, they're just amazing humans in my life and I would be lost without them. Those are the people that are on your front porch. Everyone else is out in your front yard your neighbors, your co-workers, some of your family, right, whoever those people are the acquaintances at church.

Speaker 1:

Because the people that are you need to talk to about this need to be on your front porch. Why? Because otherwise you're going to go to church. You're going to go to the grocery store. You're going to go wherever and people are going to. To go to the grocery store. You're going to go wherever and people are going to go. How's Susie doing? Has she come back yet? Have you heard from her? And you are going to. You are going to relive that stress over and over and over again. You need to have a blanket statement for those folks, because a they might really care, right, but you don't need to explain this to anyone. You keep this for your people that are safe, because, let's face it, there are a lot of people that just want to gossip, and so you need to remove yourself from those, from the people in your front yard. You, you, they're your friends, you like them, but they don't have to be the people that you're going to go to for this.

Speaker 1:

They're your friends, you like them, but they don't have to be the people that you're going to go to for this. So that community, the support system, is crucial, because if you don't identify who those people are, you're doing what I did, which was let's just tell everybody yeah, yeah, Right. And it consumed every single relationship that I had, because I had a one track mind and that was the only topic of discussion that I really cared to have with anyone. So it was overwhelming for everyone involved and so I don't recommend that. But the other piece, second, is 100% self-care. Figure out what that is. If you're not someone who exercises, obviously it'd be in your community figuring all of that is. If you're not someone who exercises, obviously it'd be in your community figuring all of that out. But even if you're just walking, you need to get outside, you need to be in nature, you need to be able to have that.

Speaker 1:

Figuring out. What is it that your body needs for self-care? For me, I learned many years ago that it's massage. I used to think, oh, that's just a frivolous expense or whatever. I'm like, oh no, this is something I do every other week and if I don't, I can feel it. That is just a self-care piece that I need. For someone else it might be getting their nails done or whatever it is Figuring out. What are those pieces that you can do that are not going to take necessarily a lot of money or a lot of time, but you have to start implementing that into your day because we have to. Until we start doing that, how do we control our thoughts If we're not taking care of ourselves? Those ruminating thoughts that they're having about their son or daughter and the whole situation is it overtakes them. I would say 90% of the moms that come to me for the very first time already have health issues. They already have anxiety. They already have depression or actual health, major health issues as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's hard to downregulate your mind until we downregulate our body. I mean Jesus literally showed us this. He met physical needs before downregulate our body. I mean Jesus literally showed us this he met physical needs before he even spoke to hearts. I mean, you know, if the Lord of the universe is exhibiting that for us, then we should probably be doing the same for ourselves, you know as being able to meet our physical, getting our bodies into a place where we can even process the hard realities that exist in a healthy, healthy manner.

Speaker 2:

And this is what's so beautiful about, you know, I would say, the way that God all causes to serve differently. Because, ladies that's for those of you that have not met me and you're hearing me through Sally, because she shared, you know, that's what we do here at early morning habit. We're literally a holistic self-care program. You know, empowering busy, overwhelmed moms specifically to sleep better, rise a little earlier and start every day with God's word in a workout. It's literally that concept of revitalizing body and soul every day so that you have the ability to invest hard in someone like Sally, with someone like Sally to do the really difficult work. It just better positions you to hit the areas of hurt in our hearts. Where can people find you? Where can they follow you and learn more about you? And for those who you are just the right fit, which I know is somebody listening and somebody watching, where can they sign up for your coaching?

Speaker 1:

So, like I mentioned, I do have the YouTube channel. It's under my name, sally Harris. Also, my website is sally-harriscom and I do have a discovery call, so if you're interested in coaching, you can sign up for one of those calls. Those buttons are all over my website so you can navigate there and learn more about the coaching options and my podcast on there.

Speaker 2:

Awesome. We'll make sure all of those links, of course, are included in the show notes. And let me pray us out and also pray over Sally as well. Lord, I thank you so much for the work that Sally is doing and, man, I just praise you for her story, I praise you for her daughter, I praise you for the way that you take what seems so messy in our lives, the ashes that we see, and you create such unbelievable beauty.

Speaker 2:

And I pray for the mom, the daughter, the son, the father, the friend, whoever might be listening right now, who's experiencing estrangement from someone that they love. We feel the tension because this is not how it was meant to be, it's not how you designed relationship, and so we feel that brokenness and it does weigh on us as it should and as it will. And I pray that you would give light that Sally's words, that you would speak through them, that there'd be a beacon of hope, and that whoever's listening right now, who needs it, would just hang on to that, just grasp onto it, cling to it, even if it's just really small to hold on. And, lord, I ask that you would help them to take a step forward, whatever it looks like for them, whether it's writing a letter, whether it is reaching out to somebody, whether it is maybe actually letting go a little bit and stepping away and being silent. Maybe it's finding somebody who has been there, somebody like Sally, who can speak to them from a place of personal and professional experience.

Speaker 2:

But, lord, I just pray ultimately that whatever that relationship is for the person listening and watching that you would provide healing. Lord, we ask it, in the name of Jesus, that your presence would be felt in that relationship and that there would be a turning to you, because sometimes there is no more hopeless feeling than broken relationship. And I just ask that you would make yourself known in those moments and that you would work through your people. Lord, thank you for your promise of faithfulness. No matter how dark it seems, Lord, let the light break through. In the name of Jesus, we pray Amen, amen, thank you.

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Ahna Fulmer

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